151/365

TOT - TEN ON TUESDAY (O Little Town of Bethlehem edition...)

1. Chrissy and I moved Lizzie into yet another place for the time being...

...the top floor of Jacob and Holiday's house in Bethlehem, PA. This is Holiday!

..and these are Jacob's shoes.

Chrissy said it was a good thing I didn't have any hens and chicks on me because they would have been filled with them if I did. It was the very first thing I thought of when I walked in the door. ;-)

2. We didn't do anything we planned on doing... the crayola factory, the "eerily lit steelworks hulk," the casino, the caverns, knocking on the Just Born-Peep door and telling them it was STUPID they didn't have a factory tour... we were 60 minutes from Philly - 90 minutes from NYC... We had a lot planned for 24 hours. ;-) All we did was go to Target... twice!!! At least it was two different ones. We did make it to the Brew Works with Andrew on Sunday and we went to Mama Nina's before we left... totally makes me want to open a restaurant for daddy - so I can decorate it, at least.

3. You know those Native American sweatlodge ceremonies? It would have been cooler if we went to one of those... Lizzie's new place must be about 200,000 degrees! I think I'm still sweating.

There was a freak thunderstorm on sunday night while we were sleeping - I was thinking I was the only one that heard it until Jacob mentioned it when he made a surprise lunch for us. ;-) My dreams last night and sunday were crazy. I think "jacob" prompted my LOSTesque plane crash dreams at the hotel - I would go in and out of them with every rumble of thunder... I was all over the place at home with flashes of random things - I can't remember much. I think I was having some sort of vision quest after our make-shift sweat lodge experience unless that baby groundhog really was trying to tell me something!

4. Speaking of dreams - it was like sleeping on a cloud held up by angels while we were at the hotel. I think Hyatt Place has taken over first place from my favorite Hilton bedding. First time I stayed at one of these was when we were looking for houses in florida a few years ago... love their rooms with the movable tv to the bed area...

...and lounge area.

5. There were several diners and restaurants between Bethlehem and Allentown that were boarded up - we had to stop and take a picture of what was formerly Izzy's Family Restaurant because I liked the sign... I hope all that free coffee and pudding and soup they included with their lunch specials didn't force them to close down. ;-) Pudding and soup! That's like my dream lunch special.

6. I brought 7 shirts, a pair of capri pants and a blue jean skirt plus the clothes I had on... for one night! Yes - 7 shirts! I was packing at 2:30 in the morning while drying my hair if that explains the strangeness of it all.

7. There's a friggin Marshall's Homegoods store a few minutes away from her place. We didn't realize it until we were leaving. ;-( There's a mall close by that is dog friendly too - they can go into 30+ stores! I think I really have to move here. We didn't even make it to a grocery store on this trip to get my usual new town reading material, so when I saw a box on the street I pretty much jumped out of a moving car to grab a HOMES book. I am a bit of a freak with that - collecting real estate magazines everywhere I go... I always want to move to wherever I am... I want this house that is one block over from liz.

8. I picked up the trucker paper on one of our pit stops...

I'm actually debating on this - can you believe it? Of course, I would need a truck retrofitted somehow because I'm sure I couldn't reach the pedals!!! ;-) But how cute would it be if Lily and I became truckers? I could get her a little trucker hat... we could journal our travels... there's my "traveling dog" - full circle! I would want RoseBud's paw prints painted on the cab... it could work. I would have to take routes that didn't pass by any junk or antique stores because I am easily distracted and my shipments would never get there on time!

9. I thought this may do the trick and help me become a little less frazzled.

I don't think it worked. I'm actually having some serious heart palpitations as I write this. We had a really good time but on the way home my face started going numb again, little by little, the closer we got to Pittsburgh. I got a sick kind of feeling passing by things. This is going to sound stupid but even stopping at the rest areas and going into the bathrooms... going through tunnels... road signs... David and I went to so many places and on so many trips it's actually a little sad. I think I have a story for every place or thing I see. Even my massive bag of road snacks didn't cheer me up very much! You know what I thought of whenever I pulled something wonderfully delicious out of the bag - all the school lunches I never made. Yes, I'm that messed up.

10. There were a couple different companies in the Lehigh Valley that had iced tea cartons that looked like this!

11. Because it's cute I'll add an "eleven"... check out this sign.

Bethlehem, PA

150/365

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

What do I like more than reading magazines in hotel beds?

... drinking coffee while reading magazines in a hotel bed!

149/365

CAN I KEEP HIM?

This little guy was in the neighbors driveway yesterday morning. I'm hoping his mother isn't dead. He was all by himself just wandering around. There's a little girl two houses up that was playing on her swing set and saw me taking pictures and asked what it was. She wanted to know where his mother was. She suggested that my dog could be his mom! ;-)

{groundhog totem}

148/365

TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE TO DREAM

The magical thing about dreams is that you can have as many as you want.

And...

Sweet Dreams, everyone. Good night.

147/365

RELAX - (don't do it...)

146/365

THE DAD

I posted this before... this is definitely my favorite picture of me and my dad... in Wildwood, NJ at the Caprice. I don't know 1976 or so. It was the first time I swam MYSELF all the way to 8 1/2 feet. I was a little fish when I was little. I was just thinking about my dog Pepper floating in her little canoe while I would swim in our pool - morning, noon and night. I think I would have slept in there if I could have and if we didn't have all those Japanese Beetles.

We all have our stories of The Dad... the crazy hats and the food... the jokes... Katherine was just talking about how she remembers him always trying to feed her meatballs and give her freeze pops when she would come over.

He annoys me at times, though...

He stresses the cream instead of the ice in ice cream - for some reason that rubs me the wrong way. Just like how he calls his cell phone a radio. That gets to me too.

I can't stand when he blows on his soup and he blows on me at the dinner table. Pisses me off.

He repeats things over and over... just random stuff: will do - will do - will do... will smith - will smith - will smith... will i am - will I am - will I am. And that damn Comcast commercial! "It's fun for you... it's fun for me... everyone do Xfinity..." or something like that. I must hear that 10 times a day.

He makes up crazy names for the dog - like BUDrow Wilson. OK - some of them are kind of funny!

I'll stop now.

I spent most of the morning at a doctors appointment with him today. I don't usually go to appointments with him but his regular doctor called last week and said,"Jeannine, your dad is in serious trouble." I thought she was kidding but it turns out it's true. I never thought I would be dealing with him, now, in kidney failure. We were at the specialist this morning. It's not awful but it's not good. Stage 3. Has to see a diabetic opthamologist next week and a ton of other tests and bloodwork so it's going to be a fun filled next few weeks. I knew something was up with the size of his legs - but he just kept shaking his head with that bull dog face and told me I was crazy. The doctor said he probably has over 10 lbs of fluid because the kidneys aren't working enough to get rid of it.

I felt bed because you could tell he was nervous (his outrageous blood pressure proved that) and I know he thought he was taking me away from what I needed to do with yet another thing added to my long list of things to get done. He actually thanked me for going with him which surprised me in a way - not that I wouldn't have known it to be true - just that he said it. The doctor needs him to go to a nutritionist and we talked about Laura and he got real sad and said he didn't know if he could go because it was the last place he went to with Dave. He was throwing away clothes the other day too and I asked why he was getting rid of good shirts and he said because they were "his." The other day was the first time I heard him mention his name in a long time, actually - we made something for dinner and he said something like Dave would have really liked this. He was "his champion" and a "fucking genius" and definitely thought of him as a son. I think he feels abandoned too. Out one day talking about the future and a few days later - gone. I know this has been just has hard for him. They were, ummm, close. ;-)

It is so difficult being here for lots of reasons. I feel like he has become totally dependent. Today in the doctors office he wanted me to put his belt on him because he couldn't see the hole. I told him NO. That was kind of crazy. ;-) I feel like I have become totally trapped... and this talk about diabetic retinopathy and blindness and possible dialysis down the line didn't make me feel any better. I know a lot of this comes with being an only child but I'm feeling a little like that bendy guy being pulled in all different directions all at the same time.

I can not even keep my head up tonight - it hurts so bad - and along with that it's just full of things like jobs and houses and appointments and stuff. It's never ending and I am completely exhausted - I can't even keep my eyes open. I have a trillion things to get to that should have been done way before now. I know - suck it up and deal with it... I'm plugging away trying to weed though as much as I can and it just keeps getting deeper and deeper. If you are in quicksand and have an avalanche come down on top of you are you sure to drown? I may find out.

I need a dark room to sleep in for just a couple days.

And a massage.

And maybe a freeze pop. ;-)

145/365

WOW - WORDS ON WEDNESDAY

To me words are very powerful... to speak - to be heard. I love quotes! There's a connection that pulls you in - like a horoscope or a fortune or daily om... Did you ever read something and be like that's exactly what I was thinking or this is so you... I never got into the "Wordless Wednesday" thing where you just post a photo that doesn't really need a description - no words to the post. I like words too much so I think I am going to start posting some of my favorite quotes and sayings on Wednesdays for awhile at least... I'm going to call it WOW. I'm going to keep it short tonight - I don't know how many I want to post or how I want to do this. Maybe what's relevant for the day or week. For tonight, I'm just going to post the last one I added to my Words to Live By board. Take a look around - maybe something will speak to you.

144/365

TOT - Ten on Tuesday

1. Around 3:30 in the morning Lily started crying. I woke up to her shaking. I didn't know what was going on. I wasn't sure if it was a seizure or something was biting her... I tried to wake her up but she was out of it, kind of bark-crying in her sleep. I think she was having a bad dream and someone or something was chasing her. She finally stopped and looked at me all disoriented - spun around and went to the end of the bed and fell over and went to sleep again. She scared the hell out of me.

2. I stopped at McDonald's the other day for an iced tea and saw a bunch of birds fluttering around the garbage - happy as could be. It reminded me of this print.

3. I was running late for an appointment today and had to park a little further away than usual... to my surprise I realized there was a Dozen just down the road! I'm so used to the one in Lawrenceville that I completely forgot about it. And it's $2 Tuesday!

4. After cupcakes, I got my fave Southwest Sizzler and went to Phipps and had lunch. I love this gate.

5. Starting yesterday I have 7 appointments in the next 10 days for either me, Glo or my Dad... and Lily should probably get in there somewhere for her ears if I can. I'm spinning already and it's only tuesday!

6. I think I want to go here. Santorini, Greece - "Blue Dusk"

7. I went out this morning and told myself I would NOT stop at Trader Joe's on my way home. So no brie for me this week!!! I need to get back to what I was doing - especially after #3 and 4. ;-) I feel like I came here and got totally off track. Peter Glickman sent me a copy of his new book in exchange for a review on my blog... that was in January, I think. It is somewhere downstairs in a box - who knows where. I need to figure out a time when I can start that and I think I need to start back with Dorit and Mo again too. I miss them. I also started a board with some fitness inspiration - let's see if that works. ;-)

8. I thought this tire cover was cute and I have to pat myself on the back because I have become the most awesomest parallel parker!

9. I may know how to park but I've been so distracted lately it's scary - especially while driving. I was turning left on whatever road that is near Butler Gas from Sandy Creek and went right through a red light. The bad thing is I knew it was red and still didn't stop and there was a car coming too. I don't know what I was thinking. The thought of it is still freaking me out.

10. Kind of like this photo... which I love.

And just because she's so cute... Lily having a little "taste" of a vanilla-vanilla cupcake. ;-)

143/365

ARE YOU CELEBRATING ANYTHING SPECIAL TODAY?

I think I'm going to write to Applebee's and tell them to stop asking that question? It's a little intrusive to say the least and kind of silly. I mean it's Applebee's at 2:45 in the afternoon - leave it for what it is - we are just here for a late lunch. After much debate on where to go, we ended up there after Glo's dentist appointment today - which is what I told the waitress. I think my exact words were: Aunt Gloria just had a 2 hour dentist appointment and found out she has $6000 worth of upcoming surgery - we're just here to eat.

I've been feeling bad because I don't really do much with Glo anymore besides her appointments. I'm kind of afraid to take her anywhere myself and I'm just so consumed and busy getting not much done that I can't seem to function doing anything else. I just don't have the time, I guess - or make it. Even on the phone - she calls morning and night to tell me she is taking her pills... she takes the tape off the correct day (hopefully) of the pill case and tells me how many pills are inside and that's about it. I usually tell her I'll call her later on and, truthfully, I usually don't. Same thing happens the next day and the next...

She was excited to go to Applebee's nonetheless. The soup of the day was potato soup so she was squealing with delight and I told her that I heard the french dip was good and she absolutely loved it. She ate every single bite.

She was so happy she even got dessert!

Lily's way of celebrating something special - like anyone visiting her - is to try to kill them... These pictures aren't from today - it may have been Easter, maybe... She pinned Glo down and tried to kiss her to death! ;-) I need to work on her social skills.

OK - planes are flying super low and this wind is freaking me and the Bud out... we are unplugging and going to hide under the covers.

142/365

CHARLOTTE'S WEB

I was asked to write something for a fertility site that was celebrating National Fertility Awareness Week awhile ago and I declined. I just didn't feel like dealing with it at the time. I had planned on writing about names for unborn babies... I was thinking about this yesterday again - got to it from a tee shirt, actually! Joe asked Lizzie what was on her shirt - it was a Warhol-esque portrait of Thomas Jefferson she got on our pre-beach vacation stop off trip to Charlottesville. We made a stop at Monticello. She was telling him about it and how much fun we had. I keep coming back to that place a lot... the bear in the woods in the Shenandoah Mountains and the D-Squared and Murphy-Cubed walkie talkie handles and Michael's coming of age when he got his "period" of sorts. And who can forget those big baby head biscuits. ;-) I keep coming back to all these weird places... the stop off at the alligator farm on the way to the airport from the Villages after Downtown Disney... that search for a Burger King on the way to the country living festival... the South Beach trip and the Cheesecake Factory in Sawgrass Mills... just weird, random moments that stop me in my tracks. I don't sleep much but when I do I often come out of it "in" those places but they are all dark and kind of blurry. I'm trying to figure out what that's trying to tell me.

Anyway, back to my story... I know people have different views on whether or not to "name" babies that were never born... some don't want the reminder and would rather pretend like it didn't happen - others want some sense of closure and some sense that what happened was real. Only a few people know this. We named all three miscarriages - which were early (between 10 and just over 12 weeks) but real all the same. We knew the first was a boy so we chose Gabriel (my husband's confirmation name) the second was a girl and David chose Charlotte after a trip we took ourselves to Charlottesville (mmmm - now I can't stop thinking about the pepper jack mac and cheese!) and the third - not being able to get good enough results from the genetic testing, was unknown - so I came up with CJ, Since the pregnancy was surrounded by my MILs illness and death I used the first initials of both of our deceased mothers. Charlotte was always my favorite but not so much anymore - for as special a place as that was it's just a big reminder of the web I'm in now. I'm not going to go into it in order to protect the innocent - though innocent may be the wrong choice of words. Regardless... it all kind of disgusts me now.

I'm cranky tonight. I had a bad day today. RoseBud is out of bones - I'm leaving that in - I mean LILY is out of bones so she is bored. I'm frustrated because I can't move my arm very well. I'm living in a room completely full of clothes, papers, bins, etc... and it's all closing in on me bit by bit. I may have done a bad thing a couple days ago. I sent in my rsvp for an open house for a fertility clinic/program I was thinking about. I debated for a month and finally said yes. I may be adding fuel to a fire that is already burning bright - I just don't know what to do. It's in a couple weeks and, honestly, I don't know if I'm going to make it that long. The thought of me walking in there by myself takes my breath away. Yet I just can't see myself giving up on this - even if it is just for me.

141/365

APOCALYPSE LATER?

I never thought that this whole RAPTURE thing wasn't possible... if not a full blown end of the world I thought it would be a good time for something else to happen... another big mass tragedy... terrorists, crazy weather, animals running wild - something. I admit, before I walked out the door this morning, I kissed Paul goodbye and said a few words to Lily - just in case I didn't see them again.

Looks like it's safe to say the prophecy failed. The day wasn't exactly without incident, though. Ted almost fell asleep at the wheel of the UHaul and I needed ice for my elbow. All I wanted to do was get through the day long enough to make it here.

With a cooler full of CCPeppers on the way home - mission accomplished. ;-)

So with it being well after 6 pm in all time zones, it looks like we all escaped Judgement Day - I guess. I wonder what some of the residents of heaven are thinking about what's going on here on Earth tonight. I'm sure they are keeping an eye on what God's children are doing down below. Maybe it's just no one was worthy of being saved.

I guess all we have to do now is look forward to December 21, 2012.

140/365

OLD SCHOOL

I'm moving forward with my craft stuff and think I'm doing pretty good. I'm probably not going to be able to do much with it though which kind of sucks. Now that I got my act together or at least a plan - it's going to have to go on hold, I guess. I met Chrissy at CCAC this morning...

...we went in and talked to the admissions people for Katherine, me and about office classes Ted said Chrissy and I must have. I couldn't help thinking of this when we went in.

We kind of ran the gamut of potential applicants. ;-)

I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I'm hoping I only have until 6:00 pm tomorrow to worry about it, though.

139/365

BROKEN BUT NOT SHATTERED... yet

I was picking up poop this morning... I navigate the yard like I'm on a rescue mission after a plane crash - kind of like a grid pattern. I found this on my search.

When I came back in I got on the computer, of course, and tried to find if there was any symbolism to it. I came across this poem:

End of April

Under a cherry tree

I found a robin's egg,

broken, but not shattered.

I had been thinking of you,

and was kneeling in the grass

among fallen blossoms

when I saw it: a blue scrap,

a delicate toy, as light

as confetti.

It didn't seem real,

but nature will do such things

from time to time.

I looked inside:

it was glistening, hollow,

a perfect shell

except for the missing crown,

which made it possible to look inside.

What had been there

is gone now

and lives in my heart

where, periodically,

it opens up its wings

tearing me apart.

~ poem by Phillis Levin

I never heard of it before - just a random google search brought me to it. There were a few interpretations listed from others - a child leaving the "nest," an empty relationship, a miscarriage or stillbirth, spring awakening...

As with anything - it can be whatever you want it to be.

{ The Robin }

138/365

"THERE'S A BOY HERE IN TOWN, SAYS HE'LL LOVE ME FOREVER..."

I was surprised to hear the one girl do If I Die Young from The Band Perry on Idol tonight. I really like those guys - it's one of the few country albums I have.

Grief and dying have been heavy on mind lately. I'm not a big fan of hers but I heard Shania Twain on The Talk this afternoon talk about all that has happened to her... she was 22 when her mom (at 42) died in a car crash. She was talking about how her mother never got to tell her about herself and that's why she wrote these memoirs for her son in her new book - so he would know her story. I was 23 when my mother died (at 49) so I have a similar feeling of not having enough time with my mother and I look at my father who lost a wife too - and me losing my husband in a way. I know it's not the same but it's still a loss.

I know there's no one to really care what I have to say so I should just suck it up, cut my losses and move on.

Moving on is hard to do. Or is that breaking up is hard to do? I loved Neil Sedaka. ;-) Anyway, I have a hard time leaving out parts of my story just because they don't matter to anyone but me. I need to say "I love you and I don't want a divorce" for me and because I do. It's like I have to say it out loud or on paper - in really cute font, sometimes. ;-) Why do I care? Shania was talking about all she experienced without her mother - wedding, pregnancy, musical success, etc... the questions she has for her that will never be answered directly by her... silly things like recipes she'll never get and advice when her husband left her and ran away with her friend... it all became too much and she literally lost her voice from the culmination of grief. I don't want to lose my voice - figuratively or otherwise.

With everything going on with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver as well, every two minutes they've been showing the obvious Kennedy tragedies and the clip of her talking about her mother's death - "grief cracks your heart into little pieces..." I read this article about Maria and compounded grief and thought it was good. I never thought my mother's death was a problem - I mean besides the obvious and not being here for certain life moments, etc... I do think, though, that these most recent deaths were and still are a problem. I've said it before that we didn't get to grieve together for my mother-in-law's death or the last miscarriage or even the ones before and we never grieved for this marriage. It was one right after the other - not coming up for air at all in between.

I'm sick of dismissing all that has happened and just moving on like nothing else matters. Honestly, I don't know how many more times I can meet at a restaurant to plan the rest of my life. It's a distraction, to say the least, to have a party of 12 seated next to you and an overly friendly waitress ask if you're there to celebrate something special. Honestly, I don't care very much about money (that was never an issue for me) or anything else anymore. Silly, I know. I'm just not sure how much more I can take. I should probably just be happy for what I have and call it a day.

I got a phone call tonight from my Dad's doctor that may change everything. Maybe now is the time to start drinking! I've been collecting some that look good. I've been wanting to try the Seductive Swan for awhile now... it's so pretty. ;-)

...so put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls...

137/365

TOT - TEN ON TUESDAY - 517 Edition (517 was my grandparents address, my address at Cedarbrook at PSU and it's today's date.)

1. Lily has not quit with the toilet paper thing...in fact, it's way worse. She comes running out of the bathroom like she's doing a rhythmic gymnastic routine. I've been collecting all her "ribbons" and storing them on my dresser and take some in with me when I have to pee.

2. Since my post about this song the other night - I've been looking for the Storytellers version of Round Here and can't find it - just found a million hits on how fat Adam Durtiz is now and how crazy it is that he only dates hot girls. What IS it about that guy and those fake dreads that's so yummy? ;-) I did find the Intro to it, though.

3. Something smells downstairs - The Dad kept insisting that he couldn't smell anything and made me think I was crazy but he finally admitted it a couple days ago. I'm starting to think that raccoon I heard screaming those couple times may be dead in the dryer vent or something. He's ignoring it so I don't know what to do.

4. We were talking about JT the other night. I can't believe Barb never saw the gift that keeps on giving - 1. put a hole in the box... still funny. ;-)

5. I go to Trader Joe's once a week on my way home from Oakland - every time I'm there I always think that I want to move to the city so I can go there and Whole Foods every day and get what I need for the day... maybe it's all the girls I see taking their kids in and out of the car to go in and get tonight's dinner that is so enchanting... I think I would be afraid living somewhere down there by myself though. Then I get mad at myself because I go home and end up eating half a chunk of Brie... every week I do this. ;-) I really need to stop that.

6. Looks like I always wanted a mini-house! Found some mail downstairs with a pattern - it was from 1977.

7. I really, really want to go glamping... I would love to have one of these. I would call it RoseBud. ♥

8. Iphone at the right place... this was kind of neat.

8. There is a family of birds living in the wires above my car. I don't know what the wires are or if they are safe in there - I'm starting to worry about them.

9. I never was a big fan of Maya Angelou but I always liked these words from her..

10. I'm obsessed with images of finger people... I've been collecting them over here.

Realized I have two #8s in here... I'm going to keep them both in anyway. Eleven on Tuesday. ;-)

136/365

SAY ANYTHING...

...just talk to me.

(photo from A Lego A Day)

135/365

UGH! PUG

This puppy is driving me crazy! She got her last antibiotic tonight - UTI seems to be better but her ears are worse. I don't know what to do with her. I have a hard time cleaning them. She's a nervous wreck - I can tell. The only time she is not crazy is when she is sleeping - kind of like me. Staying up until 4-5 am has not helped things... She has to have all the lights out at the end of the night... if one is on she is wide awake. I can't get her to stop licking no matter what I do... She won't make a move without me... won't even go outside with The Dad unless I go with them. Uugghh! ;-(

134/365

THESE ARE DAYS...

Lizzie graduated from Penn State today... it seems like these past four years just flew by... taking her up to visit the college - moving her in and out of all the places she called "home" while she was there... Wow - I can't believe she's ready to leave.

Her years flew by - just like mine did...

My diploma and some other things were all in a drawer here. I graduated from Penn State 18 years ago tomorrow. In a way I'm kind of in the same place as her. I don't know what I'm going to do - where I'm going to work, where I'm going to live... I probably need a new car soon... I have to leave a life that I knew. And I have to manage how to care for my dog and some family members and have to figure out how to build my own family... normal things, really. Just many years apart. It's no different, too, than if my husband died or if I was a stay at home mom and now my children are starting school and I'm going to work now... That's a whole different story, I guess - one I don't feel like going into right now.

Chrissy and I were trying to figure out where they should go to eat while they were up there... I remember my Graduation and going out after... my mother's arm was in a cast - the bone cancer had started progressing by that time. After all those trips and visits back and forth she always said she just wanted to live long enough to see me graduate - luckily she did. The place we went to after graduation - The Eutaw House is now closed and for sale. The thought actually crossed my mind that it would be neat to buy it and open it up - not really knowing anything about the restaurant / inn business, I think it's a little more than I can handle right now. ;-) I would move up there in a minute, though. It definitely holds a lot of good memories.

There was a shop in town - The Nittany Quill - that I would go to all the time. To this day I can close my eyes and walk through there and know exactly where everything is. Not much has changed in all this time. I could always find the perfect card in there... I don't know how many gifts we brought from that place. David had a giant piece hand done for our wedding from there and they added to this one he made for me for graduation - all the people, places and things from our days at Penn State.

I don't really have a good picture of this on my laptop but every time I see it it always makes me smile...

I congratulated Lizzie today and she texted me and said they pronounced her name wrong - another memory she can add to her collection of her days there... and as she and her friends are out celebrating tonight and hugging each other goodbye and talking about all those memories, I'm right there with her - remembering mine.