91/365

PUT THE NEEDLE ON THE RECORD

To the sounds of Fleetwood Mac - we built an IKEA desk... for FOUR hours!!!! #blindleadingtheblind

90/365

FRIDAY FISH FRY

I made ham salad "fish sandwiches" for the ride to DC...

89/365

525,600 MINUTES (TIMES 2)

I think I said it all last year.

88/365

SCARRED

I have a lot of scars that aren't so visible and resurface from time to time.

Scars from my mother's illness and death...

Scars from an empty womb...

Scars from a pup going on a hike and collapsing in my arms a few days later...

Scars from traumatic events of others - a father that gets put on a ventilator and hospitalized out of state for a month due to a faulty shower head in a million dollar beach house and being witness to a mother-in-law coming to terms with the end and never returning home from vacation...

Scars from a broken heart.

I found out today that I could potentially be faced with a 14 hour reconstructive surgery. I'm hoping that's not the case. Though the way things seem to be moving along it wouldn't surprise me. Ironically, it's been about 14 hours since I found out and I honestly don't think I've processed everything yet... I'm already questioning, though, if any of this is really worth it.

These scars will be visible.

I just don't know if I can face seeing them every day.

87/365

Q: Why don't anteaters get sick?

A: Because they're full of anty-bodies!

I don't really feel like doing a TOT today so I'm going to just post this picture I came across recently...

Full story on the photo can be read here.

I don't know if anteaters even live in Pennsylvania but I will always believe I saw one outside the Penn State Natatorium on the walk back to East Halls. ;-)

86/365

ISN'T IT IRONIC?

Every time I pass by Magee I think of the night I had the big bleed and had to go to the ER...everything turned out to be ok then. I remember coming back to the car and there was glass shattered - someone must have tried to break into a car in the parking lot... I can't remember everything anymore but I think we stopped at Mineos on the way home. The last time I was at that hospital was a week later. Everything wasn't ok - in more ways than one.

I had my MRI today at that same hospital... I thought it was a little ironic that, right before I went in, there was a segment on the waiting room tv about preserving your fertility before cancer treatments. Right there, I realized I was screwed. How many years I/we tried and now this is going to be the end... in so many ways. The MRI wasn't too bad. Thankfully, the IV went in with no problem this time. I did, about half way through, when I felt the warmth of the dye go in, say to myself - I don't want to do this anymore. I'm sure I'll be saying that again - it hasn't even really started yet.

The thing that hurt the most was my finger. I didn't really have any idea as far as prep at this place since the appointment was changed at the last minute, but I assumed you couldn't have any jewelry on.... I tried for almost 2 hours late last night to get my ring off.

I tried everything I could think of and everything that came up in a google search...

Dawn, ice water, Windex, saran wrap, olive oil, string, butter. NOTHING worked. I watched you tube videos and read nursing tips and held my hand over my head. I finally gave up around 2 am. This morning I woke up and it was freezing so I held the cold fence while Lily went potty - thought, for sure, I would go back in the house and it would come off... No such luck. Then I tried epson salts and warm water to try to get the self induced swelling to go down... then I tried everything else I tried last night again.

This picture doesn't even show how sore and swollen it is. In reality, it looks like one of those throbbing thumb pictures you see in cartoons when someone hits their thumb with a hammer.

I'm going to give it a couple days and try again.

Funny thing was... I walked into the MRI room and told the girl that I've been trying to get my ring off for hours and it's just not coming off.

I think you can figure out what she said...

"That's not a problem - you can leave it on."

85/365

TECH SUPPORT

I have no idea if this back up drive is working... I haven't synced my phone in over a year... I open itunes like I think I'm supposed to do and actually thought I figured it out but I didn't... I think I clicked something I wasn't supposed to click and then I got this message...

What? Seriously... what?

I get this message EVERY time I open Iphoto...

I have to delete photos in order to download ones I need... right now I have 347 pictures on my iphone that I need to get off and over 600 on the big Nikon.

I have no idea what the Icloud thing is and I'm not sure if that replaces mobile me or not. I think so. Not sure. I freak out when I see words like "replace!"

Ummm - fix later, please.

This pops up on my screen every couple seconds...

I learned that if I just move it out of the middle of the screen and leave it open somewhere I can trick it into shutting up for awhile...

Recently, this is warning me about something - not sure what.

I'm sure the 7327 messages (2771 unread) have something to do with it but still... that's the least amount of emails I've had in a long time.

And this is a daily/hourly occurrence...

WTF is a startup disk and how do I delete files from it?!?!?

The big computer is still downstairs in the box because I have absolutely no place to put it...I thought my calendars from my phone and the laptop, etc... were supposed to magically sync. That's not happening. I've googled to try to get some help but I just don't seem to be getting it...any of it. 9 times out of 10 I have to restart the computer and hope it comes back on in order for it to work properly - at least for a little while. Then in a few minute I get all my favorite warning all over again.

It's annoying.

84/365

OUT TO DRY

Is someone trying to tell me not to go to this doctor?

I got the mail today and everything was SOAKED including a packet from the doctor with all the forms I need to fill out.... It was so wet that parts of the envelope were just disintegrated and the papers were stuck together. I peeled them apart and put them on the table to dry.

Lily got her nails done today... That's her in the back. I didn't get a good picture because I was distracted by some idiot lady who didn't have rabies shots for her dogs and wanted them to get groomed - I was trying to plan my exit strategy to get out of the door without them biting lily... plus Lily was twirling the whole time she was on the table so I was afraid I was going to have to go catch her.

After, we hung out with some pups that don't have a family of their own. ;-(

I don't know how Cindy, Carey and friends do what they do.

"The only animal without a chance is the animal whose chance is taken away."

83/365

WHAT BEGINS NEGATIVE WILL END POSITIVE

I got that bit of advice today. I like that. ;-) Didn't get off on the right foot this morning... My MRI didn't happen because the surgeon wants me to get it at Magee. It would have been nice to have known that earlier... long story short - had to cancel at the last minute at the other place and rescheduled for next week at the hospital... Chrissy and Katherine were already on their way over when I got the call. The nurse said to not worry about the MRI today and go have fun - so we did.

Come on... what's more fun than IKEA?!?

We stopped at Bahama Breeze first for lunch... we should have just skipped our lunch choices and gone with all small plates - instead we opted for both... Here's the apps - corn cakes, hummus, zucchini and croquettes.

The waiter brought over a drink we didn't order... he wasn't sure which table ordered it so he just left it for us... then he brought over another.

So we got all liquored up on a Bahama Mama and a Bahamarita... with a shot of cactus something or other. The drinks were good but the shot kind of tasted "prickly." ;-)

Like a moth to a flame we ended up at HomeGoods. I questioned if I should be buying anything now.... I wanted all of these piggies!!! I love the planter ones! I didn't get any, though.

We decided that (having so much stuff) we should all just only get what we REALLY, REALLY love.

I REALLY, REALLY love that lamp. ;-)

I didn't get it though...only because I don't have anywhere to put it.

We ended up at The Dad's for some Friday Night fun and pasta fagioli and potatoes and eggs.

All's well that ends well.

82/365

SOMEONE NEEDS A PAW-DICURE

Lily's nails are so long! She had fun playing ball in the yard today but I can tell, already, her allergies are starting up again!

81/365

PERCY

Along with Spider and Bunny... RoseBud had another special toy. Percy. We bought her a Percy (from Pocahontas) puppet on one of our Disney trips - actually several of them from the park as well as some ebay purchases through the years. RoseBud would destroy her Percys! I think we still have them all binned - 5 or so, I bet. I got this one from Chrissy - I saw it in one of her toy bins in storage a few weeks ago and she gave it to me.

I had it up on a basket and Lily just discovered it tonight for some reason and reached for it and ran away. I had to lure her out from the dining room table with some treats. I'm not sharing it with her. I know she will more than likely tear it into pieces and probably just eat it up - eyes and all. Percy is now on my desk for the time being... BTW - new bunny is on the dad's dresser still. This little pup is very rough and can't be trusted. ;-)

80/365

BLOOM WHERE YOU'RE PLANTED

I've used that post title time and time again...

... make the best of where you are... what you have... what you do... I can't even seem to get my thoughts together right now. I don't know if it's the 168 minute conversation I just had with Barbie or my recollection of a dream I had this morning but my head is spinning.

I wrote this down at 7:42 am. All in a dream...

I woke up this morning to a beep - it was my email... I picked up my phone and looked at it...saw the screen it said "from Stave" The email read - "I have dreams of you. Constant dreams. Dreams where they are holding a wreath over you."

Until I told Barbie tonight I was like who the heck is Stave? What did I do - put Dave and Steve together or something? I don't get it. Her interpretation was not what I expected and now I'm a little freaked out.

I think this is starting to hit me a little... a day later. My eyes hurt... my left boob hurts and what lies behind it hurts.

I bought a few of these at the end of last season... rescued from a clearance shopping cart in Giant Eagle for 50 cents, I think... Half dead but I thought I would plant them anyway. They bloomed where I forgot they were even planted.

79/365

WE ALL FALL DOWN

I'm hoping this is true.

I'm just getting a little sick of everything falling apart...

I found out today I have breast cancer.

78/365

LET THEM EAT CAKE

I am the first to admit that I am a cake snob. There is no limit to the amount of money I will spend on a good cake. With that said, I'm always baffled at how much I like these things.

77/365

HAPPY ST. PUG-TRICKS DAY!

All pups should have a kid to snuggle with...

...and vice versa.

My godson, Jake, and his little puppy Sydney...

76/365

IT'S NO FUN SLEEPING ALONE

When The Dad left early this morning the pup came and sat outside the game room door and whimpered until she fell asleep - poor thing. I could hear her snoring. She must have given up at some point because I found her sleeping on the couch when I came upstairs a few hours later. She was exhausted and mad... she just looked at me like I hate you... I wonder if she thought I abandoned her?

75/365

LOOKS LIKE THE ROAD TO HELL IS, IS IN FACT, PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS

I had the BSGI taken today. I agreed to do the study that that they were doing to see if they could use a lower dose of the radioactive solution to view the pictures... They needed to insert an IV in to do the partial and then the full dose. I was joking about how I had the BEST veins ever and it would be no problem at all... After three attempts by two different people and three blown veins in my hand and arm they called the Dr in to try for herself. Seeing I was already bruised, she asked if I REALLY wanted to be in this study??? So I opted out and they went straight to the full dose. The doctor did it (guided by ultrasound to find the vein) because they were all nervous wrecks and wanted to be sure there were no problems. I HAD GOOD INTENTIONS with the study... a lot of good that got me. I ended up having to have a biopsy done right there so we'll see what happens with that. Can anything just be easy? I guess not. I went home with an ice pack in my bra and a bunch of Tylenol that really isn't helping much. They told me to not hang around or kiss any babies for about 24 hours... why I didn't ask about dogs I'll never know!?! Carey told me to call the emergency vet and they told me to follow the same protocol and stay away from the pup and to NOT let her sleep with me... so I'm downstairs in the game room and I can hear her upstairs running from room to room looking for me. After she cried in the Dad's room for 20 minutes she scratched her way out the door. I had to pretend like I was leaving and snuck down here. Even I can't believe I'm doing this. I wish I would have brought some snacks with me! I think there's some Triscuits and marshmallows in the pantry down here.

74/365

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING

73/365

TOT - TEN ON TUESDAY (dogs, rocks and some other stuff)

1. This morning - or should I say this afternoon...

She's been getting up at 5 am to go potty and then goes back to bed. I know one thing... she loves to sleep - that's for sure. I love those paws. ;-)

2. I finally sat down last night and looked at When my Baby Dreams - Adele Enersen's lovely photo book of her interpretations of her baby Mila's dreams. So, so cute.

3. I'm the kind of girl that goes out for a walk and comes home with 20 rocks in her pocket. I'm a bit of a "collector." Came across this on Pinterest...

LOVE. Have to make some of my own and some flowers and trees and houses! Check out their site for more painted rock ideas and other fun stuff. And check this out - I'd have to keep this far away from Lily but I love these Stonees.

4. Note to self: STOP hoarding the "lamb butter" - you have enough!

5. For those keeping score (which is just me) Clooney and Pug is almost at 500 re-pins! There's a lot of Pug Love going on tonight - my email has been crazy. Pinners will have seen this photo a thousand times... I feel like I need to document it's popularity.

Cute little dog, isn't it?

6. Speaking of dogs... "Thorns may hurt you, men desert you, sunlight turns to fog; but you're never friendless if you have a dog." ~ Douglas Mallock

7. I need to frame this... Carey found a painting she did long ago - I'm not sure when - probably 20-25 years ago, I bet! The Dad said it looked like a pork roast. ;-)

8. Now I'm thinking about when I ripped my rocks for jock's notebook in half like the incredible hulk... ;-) Anyway, I used to put some of my favorite rocks in this jar that I love...they were rocks from all the adventures we went on... beaches, walks, etc... I prefer picking rocks over sea shells at the beach and I started putting all my light colored tones in here...

9. One of my Tonkas is headed for the junk yard - it's completely rusted out... I have to get rid of it. The bunny runs along the fence where it is and I'm afraid he's going to cut himself on it when we scare him at night. I transferred some of the hens and chicks to a cute little ceramic watering can I found at Marshall's the other day. If there's anything I don't need in life it's another "something to plant something in" - it was really cute, though, and cheap so I caved.

10. Live a beautiful truth...

72/365

A DOLL'S HOUSE

I woke up the other morning - saturday I think - and I went downstairs in the garage to look for my childhood dollhouse my dad made me. I thought it was still down there. I asked him about it and he said he brought it to work a long time ago... He kind of snickered and said he threw it away. I thought he was going to bring it home today but I guess that's not happening... I guess the laugh was more a "why the hell would you want that now" thing rather than a "isn't she going to be surprised when I bring it back home after 30+years" thing.

I want to make this dollhouse (out of a bookcase.)

I really need a house and a kid or at least a wall with nothing on it.

Idea and how to from Honest to Nod (Land of Nod's Blog.)

71/365

ONE POOPED PUP

It's after noon and the Little Bud is still in bed! Not sure if it's all the fun she had last night with Vinnie and Sabrina or she's sick from the birthday cake icing Davy Gerasole was giving her. I think she is going to have a lazy day today.

70/365

YOU'RE NO BUNNY TILL SOME PUGGY LOVES YOU

I tend to gravitate to the baby section when I'm out shopping... the cute little flower dresses and onesies with dogs on them pull me in every time. I needed to find baby washcloths today so I had a legitimate excuse to be in that department. Big ones are too hard to get in the little pups folds. I found the washcloths and saw something else....

BUNNY!

RoseBud had a few besties - Bunny, Spider and Percy the Pug puppet from Pocahontas. Lily doesn't really have any special toy. Like RB, she has way too many - in fact, I was just "discussing" with her that we have to go through her toy bins and give some to the orphan dogs that don't have any. I said I wouldn't get her any more toys until we did that. I couldn't resist today, though, and came home with her very own bunny!

She tried to rip the legs, arms, ears, nose and tail off of it in about 15 seconds.

Chrissy teases me and says that RoseBud was my "Lizzie" and Lily is my "Katherine." She's definitely a wild (child) puppy.

Bunny is on the dresser for now until The Bud can be trusted with her!

-----

"You're nobody till somebody loves you" is one of my most favorite Dean Martin songs... I still remember my Grandmother singing it to me. I can't stop thinking of this now, though. ;-)

69/365

YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE

She gets mesmerized by the light of the apple on my laptop.

68/365

SO IT GOES...

They opened American Idol with my favorite song tonight. Definitely NOT an amazing performance but I won't go there... I still see the photos I had in my mind to go along with that song. I know that has to change now but it doesn't make me any less angry. Yes. Angry. I had this three hour live chat the other night for this infertility group I'm involved in... I don't know if it's that or Jessica Simpson's belly pictures but I've been having my version of the baby blues lately. I've been thinking about this...

I would buy from this company a lot and what's funny is their tagline is something about hoping you're not a customer for long. I would buy tons of ovulation kits and the like - POAS (peeing on a stick) was a daily occurrence in one way or another. With every order you got a little packet of "baby dust" which was baby themed confetti. I have a ton of those little packets. I often wanted to write them and ask if I was their longest running customer. I wonder.

67/365

EN PLEIN AIR

I had 101 things to do today but I took Carey's advice to go outside since it was so nice... I brought Dave out to try to work on some of my art lessons.

It was a little windy so all my clouds blew away...

Lily got a new outdoor sleep mat from Santa Paws last year so I put that out for her... in about 45 seconds she peed on it.

What's up with that? Actually I think Lily Miss Lily has ANOTHER urinary track infection... but still - she had other places to pee out there!

We moved to the porch and I tried to get her comfy on her regular mat...

She still wasn't having any of it.

So I moved her right next to me on a chair.

STIll not what she wanted. I knew there was only one place she wanted to be...

ON MY LAP....

Needless to say I didn't get much done this afternoon.