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THE WOMAN FORMERLY KNOWN AS JEANNINE
Truth be told, this name change thing is throwing me for a loop. It's no big secret that I'm having a hard time with this and, honestly, I think most people think I'm crazy and it's not a big deal. No one seems to think it should be this hard for me.

First of all, it's a big pain in the ass, logistically.  I've changed some things - some things, not yet...  Some are harder than others... Emotionally it's a big reminder of a failed marriage and the stigma of The Scarlet D I will always carry with me.  It's just kind of sad all around.  I know some would just keep the name - for their children or to be a bitch or because it's not really that easy... others would hurry to change things as soon as possible... I'm just really depressed about it.

I always found it weird when women resisted taking their husband's last name.  My therapist was saying he took me for "one of those girls."  I was a little insulted. ;-)   I think that's a major part of the whole marriage/commitment thing and think it's kind of absurd not to but to each his own, I guess. There's not much of a difference with my married and former last name and that's kind of weird too... I'm getting kind of stuck when someone asks me and fumble over what I'm supposed to say. I'm sure once everything is changed it will be different... I'm getting there.  It's just hard.

I was joking and saying I would rather change my first name or maybe just change it to a star with wings.... I'm thinking that (STAR WITH WINGS) DeLuca DiGioia DeLuca may get a little tricky when I order a sandwich at Panera, though. ;-)

61/365

SAY MY NAME... SAY MY NAME...
 I've been doing these photo a day things on Instagram for awhile now... at one point I was doing three - which, FYI, is way too many.  I decided to just do fat mum slim's challenge this month... the prompt today was MY NAME IS... which was very timely for me.  I've been struggling with changing my name - though when my lawyer asked me about it I didn't hesitate a second with my response. It's already been "changed" in a way.  My husband would send me things in my maiden name.  When I asked about it he said it was just automatic... no intention. Yeah, right. ;-)    It's not that I don't want to be associated with the name.  I was always happy to be a DiGioia... there's just no ties to it.  No children where there might be confusion at school, etc...   I felt like if I kept it I would be living a lie. It's just going to be a really big pain in the ass to change everything and I'm not looking forward to it. It's also another loss.  My family, my home, my name... Maybe it would be easier for some or if I was the one that wanted the divorce.  IDK, this has proven to be very difficult for me.