211/365

INVISIBLE BABY
I met Chrissy for lunch today and then helped her plant some flowers...  we were just finishing up at Eat N Park and this old guy came in with his wife and headed straight for our booth.  He came over looked at me and said - Oh, I thought I saw a baby back here with you.  He seemed a little disappointed.  I asked him what he meant and he said he just loves babies and was hoping we had one.

Weird...

...and slightly creepy.

Anyway,  I was weeding and this little green guy kept making itself known to me...he followed me everywhere I went.

Grasshopper Totem.

210/365

YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY
This was the first time in 24 years I didn't say Happy Birthday.

{Danny, Tara, Shawna, David, Me and Matt ~ 1989}

209/365

FRANKENWEENIE
I thought I was going to have to take The Lily Bud to the emergency vet tonight. She threw up this morning and she was doing these weird leg jerks tonight at dinner and I was afraid it was a seizure. She hasn't been herself the last couple days. We finally watched Frankenweenie last night... well most of it - I fell asleep for a little bit and missed part of it but I saw the majority of it. It was adorable and the characters were so very cute. Every time he would hug Sparky I thought about our last kiss to RoseBud...maybe that's why I have the ER on my mind.

208/365

IN A WORLD...

207/365

OH I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING

Line of succession.

206/365

WHAT A WAY TO GO
I feel sorry for people that have never had ice cream from The Creamery... it truly is ridiculously good and everyone should have the experience of eating it. This was always my favorite...

205/365

LIFE IS A (BUD SHUSTER) HIGHWAY -  I WANT TO RIDE IT ALL NIGHT LONG

204/365

IT'S NOT THE DESTINATION - IT'S THE BROCHURES!

203/365

"WE'RE ALL JUST WALKING EACH OTHER HOME"
I had dreams of Dixon House all night last night... at least for the couple hours I slept.  It was funny looking - almost cartoonish. I may have been mixing it up with the art class I'm taking, I've been doodling houses for days,  but I kept waking up thinking I was there. I wasn't in a panic or sad or anything... it just seemed like it kept telling me to go back to sleep so I could be there. I was walking up and down the steps. It was very weird.  I was a little worried about today because I was afraid I was going to fall asleep while driving... I had a bit of a trip to New Castle.  I packed snacks. ;-)  I never ate them, though.  Only once did I think I should pull over but I woke myself up. It seemed like every road was under construction and the bridges were out.

Thank goodness for GPS.

202/365

CIRCLE OF LIFE
The Glo-worm is not doing too well... I think some of it has to do with the fact that I wasn't able to get up there because I was so sick...  She's starting to hallucinate again, we think. They also found her in someone's room a couple times.  She told me today that she doesn't understand what's going on. She goes to bed in her bed and then wakes up in someone else's bed.  She's telling them she wants to kill herself and they don't know whether to take her seriously or not. I know she's just being dramatic but they have to do what they need to do. She told me she wants to get out of there and said she will go work at the 5 and dime.  I told her there aren't any 5 and dimes any more and she was shocked!  It was kind of cute and sad at the same time.  She refuses to turn the tv on and never has a light on... I think the sensory deprivation from that gets to her - that used to happen when she was at home and her television remote batteries would die and she would start hallucinating. She still thinks "that guy" (her female roommate) gets too much attention from the nurses...  She keeps giving her laundry to the girls and they aren't supposed to be doing it - there's a big sign that I do her laundry.  Things are missing, of course, and she's freaking out... I had to put her name on everything so, hopefully, they will know what's hers. She keeps saying she's not going to be here long. I'm wondering if she's right. Watching this progression is definitely not easy... it really is the circle of life.

.... in diapers, report cards, in spoke wheels, in speeding tickets, in contracts, dollars, in funerals, in births...

201/365

EVERY MOMENT IN LIFE IS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE. OR WHAT GOOD IS IT? RIGHT?
I lost pretty much the entire week last week being sick so I had a lot of catching up to do... I'm all hopped up on coffee I found in the pantry downstairs...  I totally forgot it was down there.  One of my favorites from the Norfolk days...

Anyway, just watched one of my fave movies I haven't seen in a long time - Six Degrees of Separation. I updated my Girl Crush board on Pinterest... I forgot how much I adore Stockard Channing and had to add her to my list.

200/365

OH HAPPY DAY
Sandy told me HomeGoods was moving into Borders a long time ago and, of course, I asked all the workers at Marshall's for confirmation so I knew it was in the works. I can't remember when they said it was going to open - September or October, I think.  Today was the first day I saw the sign. ;-)

199/365

YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME
All day today my fat face kept hitting Suri -my Siri... I finally said - "I'm so sorry I keep hitting you by mistake" - and she said this:

198/365

OTHER PEOPLE'S PUSSY(CATS)
I managed to get out of the house tonight - probably had no business being out but I needed to be somewhere.  On my way home this song came on and I couldn't help but laugh.

This will sound weirder than it actually is but every time I hear it it always reminds me of my parents...was The Dad's 50th birthday in '91?  I'm too lazy to do the math on that one. Anyway, my parents were always pretty hip on the music of the day. I'll leave it at that.

While we are somewhat on the subject... Have you seen this nerdy love song complete with pussy cat accompaniment. Cutest. Thing. Ever.  Seriously. I think my heart exploded at 1:34. I totally less than three that little kitty cat!

197/365

CARMELLA - IN BOXWOOD
Still sick... thinking about my chicken.

Maybe I should just go with a giant boxwood topiary? ;-)

Where's Edward Scissorhands when you need him?

FYI - there was a lot of clucking going on about that article on hipsters abandoning their chicks... more here.

196/365

NURSE LILY
She never leaves my side...

195/365

PUG IN PARIS
At least I think that's what this scene is...  I'm painting over one of Glo's old paintings from her apartment.  Here's Lily from the other day checking it out...

...and posing in front of it. She is such a ham. I mean jambon.

194/365

LAND SHARK
Somehow I got a cold... a really bad one.  I have not been this sick in a long, long time... I can't stop coughing. I'm afraid I'm going to get The Dad sick and we are both going to drop dead. Maybe that's a little dramatic but not as dramatic as this Sharknado movie.  The Bud and I came out to the couch and I on demanded it...  I somehow missed all the buzz about it until I just looked it up. OMG. Ian Ziering+Tara Reid+Tornados+Sharks=best "while you are sick" movie ever!!! Read more here. (Spoiler)

193/365

LET THEM EAT HUMMUS
I was outside painting and went in for some water and forgot that there was a refrigerator full of hummus in there.  They have been giving away hummus packs downtown... The Dad has been coming home with bags full.  One day he came home with an entire case.  I told him to bring them back to work and share them with his friends. He did - but there's still a good supply left here.  I asked him what the hell he thought we were going to do with a box of 280 baby hummus packs that expire in mid August?  He looked at me like I was crazy and said - I have a case of pretzels in the car too! ;-)

192/365

ALL BY MYSELF
I had to go for an MRI today. I forgot how much of a maze it was to get to it.  There are signs all along the way... three or four of them telling you it's just around the bend. If it was your first time you would totally think you passed it up or went the wrong way.

Somehow I was early. Like really early - 30 minutes or so!   I was sitting there looking around and realized I was the only one there alone. No biggie really - to me.  I mean I'm used to going to appointments by myself. I guess.

It was funny, though... yesterday, my therapist asked me who was going with me to the MRI today. I looked at him and laughed and said I was going myself. Duh!?!  We laughed about that for awhile. He's been saying that I've essentially gone through all of this (cancer stuff) myself.   I'm not totally in agreement with that.  I feel like I had a big support system... Chrissy and Cara... my cousins and Aunt Joyce and Carey and Sharon... some school friends and my sister-in-laws - Paula, June, Sue and Tina - were always cheering me on through treatment and stuff...

I'll be honest, it is and has been a constant reminder that my husband is gone.  I mean the whole sickness and in health - till death do us part thing comes into play when I'm in those waiting rooms.   You want your husband there for something like this... the one that would have been there to support you the most. I'm not going to say that this has been easy.  I had a bit of a meltdown today...maybe it was because of the thoughts going through my head about all that or maybe it was because I was sick of being a human pin cushion.  With the fertility stuff I have had a lot of blood work taken and they never had a problem... Now - they can't do anything from my left side so they don't have much to work with. They tried (pretty much continually) for 20 minutes to get my IV in and couldn't. I was nice about it but I had to stop them... four people tried - some multiple times each and I just couldn't take it anymore. They were all acting like it was a game - hovering over me to take their turn again... I'm not sure what the winner was going to get but I was done with it.  I told them all to stop and they ended up calling the IV team in.  An overzealous nurse ended up getting it in right as they were walking in but he had to put it in my wrist - which hurt... a lot. I'm really starting to question if this is all worth it.

191/365

KINDRED SPIRITS
So excited to be part of this... A small group of creative souls gathered at the home of Jenna McGuiggan of  The Word Cellar to screen Jen Lee's film, Indie Kindred. She premiered it a few days ago at the World Domination Summit in Portland and she (and her adorable daughters) are touring the country with it - check out the other screenings.  The documentary showcases ten independent artists and the importance and power of creative collaborations. It is an amazingly inspiring and beautiful message on relationships and friendship and connecting with your kindreds. I was led to this through Pixie Campbell and, after watching the trailer for it,  knew I had to see more. I feel like I needed a kick in the butt to get moving with my art and put it and myself out there and Jen and her film have done that. I'm happy to have had the chance to meet her on this part of her journey.

For more about Jen Lee - visit her here.

190/365

I DON'T WANT TO BE A PIE... I DON'T LIKE GRAVY

Just in the past couple days there have been articles about abandoned chickens...here and here. Maybe it's a sign for me to give up my chicken dreams.

I have over 350 drafts on this blog - things I wanted to say at the moment and didn't for one reason or another... I've been trying to clean it out but it's hard to weed through them all.   I know I had written a little something about Beyonce - a 5 foot metal chicken.  She's a chicken dear to my heart - she reminds me of one we saw at Texture in Ghent during our time in Norfolk, VA.  I wish I had that chicken now. I think about her often and hope she found a good home.

Anyway, if you are not familiar with Jenny Lawson - you should be.  You can read her blog at theblogess.com and check out her post on her big giant chicken Beyonce.

Is it ok to go to bed at 8:30?  I barely made it home today - I thought I was going to fall asleep in the car. They canceled the baseball game trip I was supposed to go on with some residents at the nursing home... I'm sure they are disappointed. I was a little thankful. I don't think I would have lasted the night.

Goodnight, peeps.
(chicken reference intended)

189/365

YOU CAN GO HOME AGAIN
I had an appointment in South Hills yesterday... this view always gets to me...

I had to pick up pills for the pup, too.  You tell them, Dr Mann!

I had a little time to kill so where else do you think I went?   Come on - it's not that hard.  MY Marshall's and TJMaxx! I felt like throwing up the entire time but it was lovely to be back.

Then I went to the one place that I've been longing to go to for so long now...

Portman's for ham! And, YES, I totally ripped open that bag and made a sandwich in the car while I was driving.  ;-)

188/365

TOY STORY
It's that time of year again... Lily and I started going through her toys to give to the pups that don't have many.  I have two new ones for her but haven't given them to her yet... I told her she has to get rid of 10... ok maybe 8... before she gets anything new.  She destroyed RoseBud's fish so that got packed away and I ordered her another one which I think I'll save for her birthday.  Lily never really had a special toy like RoseBud's Bunny and Spider. I got her her own Bunny but she doesn't really like it much. I washed it and brought it back into rotation and she still doesn't like it that much.

187/365

YOU CAN STAND UNDER MY UMBRELLA - ELLA ELLA, AY AY AY
How many years did we go to Twin Lakes and go under that mister?!?  Not this year - it was umbrellas from start to finish.  I haven't been feeling well so I was going to back out of this but some little girl that takes pictures with her eyes twisted my arm. I think I may have over done it a little yesterday and today. I'm exhausted and feel like I'm dying right in front of my eyes. I need a break. Going to bed.

PS.  We still love you, Mr. Mister.

186/365

LET FREEDOM RING

We are trying to get some stuff off of the local adventure list - places not so far away that we've been wanting to visit.  My penchant for white boys with dreads landed us at Freedom Farms for some lovely fruits and veggies and Boldy's for some donuts and the like. Then a little antiquing in which I may or may not have added to my imaginary mantle full of globes.

It was super hot and reminiscent of our North Carolina day trips and so many other adventures. I keep thinking of those buildings... they were red ones, I think. Right?  Where were they? Was it Denise's wedding trip... her funeral, maybe?  No, that was Bedford, I think... that pig thing from the kitchen was that trip. This was earlier.  Maybe? There were a lot of them - in a row.  I'm forgetting things.  I dream about those buildings some times. I just did not too long ago. I'm not sure why they come to me or what they are trying to tell me.

"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." ~ Dr. Seuss

185/365

CHICKS DIG ME

I'm on this kick now.  I want a chicken. I would like a house chicken like Tracy Porters. Just one.  I'm slightly obsessed with the idea.  It's all about the coop at the present moment.   There are things I need to know... Are chickens really social? We'll she be sad if she is an only chicken?  I only want one.  I want to name her Carmella.  Carmella Chicken Bud.  I was thinking Francesca (Frankie Chicken Bud?)  but I'm back to Carmella now.

I missed the Chicks in the Hood tour this year... You can check out some great photos of the tour by Chris Condello on his blog.
North Side
East End
Highland Park
Choderwood

184/365

FOURTH OF JULY FUN
We sang Happy Birthday to America and followed with a striking rendition of God Bless America... I only recorded 13 seconds of it... you'll thank me for that later.

We also had a flag bearer.

Here's the Glo-worm showing off Aunt Joyce's beautiful star watermelon... we took a chance with that one... I think it's time for Cara to get an EpiPen. I do fear for her life but it's not summer without watermelon.  Just saying! ;-)

I had a Pinterest fail with my attempt at the red (cranberry juice) and blue (gatorade) and white (sparkling water) drink... I did reach Chrissy and Ted open container in the car status with my mason jar when I went to pick everyone up.  I just poured it and didn't want to waste it. I was aware of the molecular weight and sugar content of my ingredients and don't know why it didn't work?!? It looks like I need to practice before Labor Day.

Yeah, I'm not really sure what they were doing... ;-)

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY.

183/365

I WOULD LIKE A SEAHORSE TOO, KID

182/365

SHE'S CRAFTY
I stopped into Glo's today and planned to stay for just a short time.  I had to talk to the activities lady so I brought Glo down to the second floor with me to try to find her... one of the other activities lady was making a craft.  She asked The Glo-worm if she wanted to make one and, of course, she didn't.  In fact, she said "I would rather kill myself than make one of those."  Thankfully, she didn't say it in front of anyone that could turn her in like last time but I don't know what I'm going to do with her mouth.  She just thinks she's being funny.  Anyway, she said I could make it for her.  Then one thing led to the next and I was helping out for the next couple hours - cutting and gluing and making these little patriotic dolls.

Glo and I finally went back upstairs and Mary saw Glo's and wanted to make one so I wheeled Mary down and had Glo come along again... Mary couldn't remember her grandson's name - all she knew was it was an Italian name (Orlando?  Lorenzo?) but she said he was 3 so that's the block I used. I think it was my best creation.

I made a few more for some of the residents. One of the daughters that was with her 100 year old mom thought I was the art therapist so I guess I looked like I knew what I was doing.

Alice is one of my favorite ladies there...  She made one earlier...

She added hair to hers because she wanted to make an exact replica of herself.  I think it looks just like her!

I am totally in love with this lady! She said she made one for her husband too but "he's not going to get to see it because he's dead." She put it on her nightstand. She said she loved making things when she was little and her mom would always make a fuss and tell her brothers and sisters to put everything they made in the kitchen because she was always in the kitchen and this way she could admire everything all the time.  She talks about her mom and dad and brothers and sisters and her husband all the time. I think she said she was married for 60+ years... she tells me stories about her father singing at the Enright theater in East Liberty and how he got a 15 minute standing ovation for singing a song in Italian while holding a little baby and the baby reached up and touched her dad's face at the end of the song and the crowd loved it.  She always asks if I'm Glo's granddaughter. I tell her every time that I'm her niece and she said she has a lot of nieces and nephews herself.  She never had children. She had some sort of accident when she was young and something fell on her stomach.  She ended up having a hysterectomy at age 14. She asks me all the time if I have any children and her roommate always gets mad at her and says it's rude to ask because if I don't it might make me sad.  Every time she asks me and I tell her no she asks if it makes me sad. I just nod at her and say yes. ;-(

181/365

TEARS