90/365

A TISKET, A TASKET...
I forgot to get Lily's Easter basket out of storage. I just handed her her Easter toys and treats. I didn't even wrap them!  We never got around to dying eggs or getting pictures with the Easter Bunny this year. I'm slipping! I'm hoping my days of hosting holidays aren't over. ;-(  Just like Christmas, I decided there was no way I would be able to have Easter this year so we made reservations! This maitre d' looked awfully familiar - don't you think? ;-)

Here's a re-post of The Little Bud with The Easter Bunny - from 2009!

HAPPY EASTER!

89/365

IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO YESTERDAY
The Glo-worm is officially out of her apartment! I went back to drop off the keys and make sure everything was ok.  I must say the girls and I did a good job... it was hard work but we somehow managed to get an entire life contained in one way or another.

Everything but the couch found a good home or a good temporary home... There's still a ton of stuff to sort through - it's just all scattered between my house and Cara's garage and storage. Thank goodness her place wasn't any bigger and she didn't have the hoarding tendencies that I do.

I kind of felt sorry for the couch even though I bitched at it for four and a half months when I slept there! I, of course, went around and took pictures of everything... the light fixtures... door knobs... closets.  I sat for awhile and spoke to those I needed to talk to.  They didn't talk back but I hope they were listening. I apologized for being mean to Glo when I was so frustrated with everything that was going on and dealing with the radiation and all of that... I'm glad I was able to do what I had to do there for those months even though it was by no means easy. It was kind of sad to leave and it took me awhile to get out of there... I kissed the walls and thanked the rooms and closed the door for the last time.

Goodbye, O'Hara Woods... thanks for having us.

88/365

THIS LITTLE PIGGY

I have a bunch of these figurines...  I had them all in a curio in the dining room. They are now all individually wrapped in bubble wrap in bins. Honestly, I'm not even sure where they are.  I think they are in Cara's garage but I'm not 100% sure on that. I had to get them out of Glo's and now I don't know where anything is anymore.

I don't have the one in the picture. I saw it on Ebay and thought I would post it today.  It's an anniversary of sorts.  The anniversary of when David packed his bags and left and the anniversary of the third miscarriage.  It was the third in four years.  We found out a couple weeks before then that there was no heart beat.  I decided to not do a D&C this time so we weren't sure when it was going to happen.  He left in the morning... it happened that night. The other two are already starting to get foggy... I remember the futon in the den and a cherry popsicle with the first one... The second one - I can't remember if we ordered from Max and Erma's or Mineos... and was that Wall-E or Coraline??? I don't know. It's funny what you remember and what you don't.  This one, though, I remember it like it was yesterday. I was back and forth on the phone with Aunt Joyce and Sharon and Chrissy... I remember I summoned up the spirits of the women that went before me. I was scared I was going to bleed to death by myself even though I was pretty calm.  The pup was making me nervous too because she was whimpering all night. I think she thought David was downstairs. I remember after it was all over taking her outside to go potty and eating in the kitchen. I made mashed potatoes. It was during my favorite 3 am hour. I remember sleeping pretty well - just from exhaustion.

We never really mourned this loss as we should have... or anything else. I'll talk more later on that. I think I'm going to bed now...   Glo's apartment is pretty well empty.  I was there all day cleaning yesterday and the girls and I were back over there today.  This little piggy is exhausted.

87/365

"THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU"
Remember the baby doll lady?  I found out her name is Dorothy.  When I brought Aunt Gloria back from her eye surgery the other day we walked down the hall and Dorothy (sans baby doll) was in her wheel chair... she met us at the room and she said one thing... NOT what happened Gloria?  NOT why are you bandaged, Gloria?  She looked right at ME and said they're coming for you.  Seriously, Dorothy?  Really?  That's all I need now! What the hell is that supposed to mean?!?  I was getting Glo settled and Dorothy kept passing by the room in her wheelchair and would look in and say it. It was actually kind of funny.

And kind of creepy.

At Millers's today something touched me in one of the booths downstairs.  There was nothing around and I didn't run into anything.  Were they there?

Last night Lily Bud would not sleep in the bed again... she freaked out minutes after we went to bed and sat on my head until I brought her into the living room.  Were they in the bedroom? This is The Bud afraid of something...

I presume baby doll lady may be a little out of it... I'm just wondering if she knows something I don't know.

86/365

YOU SHOULD SEE THE OTHER GUY...
You can't tell in this picture but Glo-worm looks like she was in a bar fight!  She has a pretty good shiner for some reason... she didn't bruise at all with the first one but this one is pretty bad.

Today was her followup after the surgery... that wasn't without issue yesterday.  She got a little loopy again - pre-anesthesia.  Actually really loopy.  Wasn't making any sense at all. She was talking about her brother in another room... there were three dolls standing at the end of the bed - last time it was my mother, Uncle Norman and Elmer... and she was extremely fidgety.  Wouldn't stay still... They had to sedate her way more than last time.  It took awhile for her to come out of it.  She has no filter whatsoever and it's way worse now... It was just a day of inappropriate things said. The poor nurse came to take her IV out and she says to me - remind me never to get my hair cut like her as she steps away. When I tell her to hush she comes back with something nice like her blouse is really pretty (her scrubs)... and then she'll say she has a really big ass.  It's exhausting. That's all I can say.

I got to her place this morning and she was sound asleep... We were a little late because I had to get her ready... we were on our way down and she thought she was going for her surgery. Seriously - it's like Groundhogs Day. All she was concerned with was going to Dick's Diner for breakfast after. That's what she's saying in this pic - when can we get the hell out of here and go eat? My thoughts exactly. ;-)

85/365

LOVE IS LOVE

I found this in my drafts but don't think I ever posted it so today is probably a good day. This video is old but adorable...

And here's the straight man's response.

Equality for all who seek love!

84/365

SNOW PLACE LIKE HOME
Chrissy was telling us about an article she read in the paper talking about how everyone runs to the store when a snow storm is coming to get bread, milk and eggs... like all of a sudden everyone needs to make french toast when it snows!  I was at the store with all the other crazies getting bread, milk and eggs yesterday, among other things. I made beef stew today and got some chicken ready for tomorrow since I'll be out for Glo's eye surgery.  I love hunkering down on these days. The Bud sits in her bed and watches me in the kitchen just like RB used to do. I've said it before - I miss the days when I cooked for my husband. It's not the same cooking for The Dad. I'm not sure why. Anyway, dinner was ready early so we ate and I took a two hour nap.  I couldn't keep my eyes open. I think the last few days caught up with me. I forgot to take a pic of dinner so I'll post this since everyone is mad at the poor groundhog. Personally, I was hoping for about 10 feet so no harm, Phil. Better luck next year.

83/365

TALK TO THE PAW
Lily is the best sleeper ever... And the best rider in the car... And the best snuggle bud... And the best everything else. I love this pup.

82/365

PACK IT UP
I really needed a break today but Chrissy insisted we go back over to the Glo-worm's apartment to continue the clean out there... I am too capacity everywhere I have stuff - here, Cara's house, storage... The Dad says he's waiting for the film crew from TLC's Buried Alive to come knocking at the door.

Problem is some of the "stuff" at Glo's is mine... like 1 (or perhaps 5) giant pigs...

I have some fab kitchen pigs and pig lamps that I didn't want in storage so they lived in Glo's closets. Luckily Chrissy is a hoarder of bubble wrap and her favorite thing ever... air pillows - so we got 5 boxes of piglets all cushioned up in no time.  The girls are all into measuring and seeing if things will actually fit... I'm more into just trying and making it work.  No need to measure if that giant bench will fit in my car - I will pick it up (with my one good arm) and make it fit thank you very much.  And it did. ;-)  Chrissy and I are much like ants and can lift 20 times our body weight... Even though I hear her former mother-in-law probably would have been more help we made Cara carry the heavy stuff too and she did!  She's tall too so she sees things we don't! ;-)

After every big move we have to sit and regroup. I'm not well you know. ;-) This meeting usually consists of talk on what we are going to eat (I get cranky if I'm hungry) and then a plan on what's going out next. There's still some things left and I need to clean... now with the snow and Glo's surgery on Tuesday I know we are going to be scrambling come the end of the week to get this all done by Saturday. Job well done today, though. I don't know what I would have done without those two.

We put in 12 hours of work ending with breakfast... and a little side of mashed potatoes for me!

81/365

SOMETHING'S FISHY
The girls went over to Glo's to pack some things up while I had lunch with David today. Are those some good friends or what?   I got there and we threw some things out... boxed up some more stuff... took the legs off the dining room table and packed up my car with some boxes of shit - which are still in the car because I don't know where to put them. There's still a ton to do and get out of there... After sitting for awhile and trying to come up with a plan we decided to avoid doing anything else and went to a fish fry.  I don't eat fish so I got an extravaganza of side dishes.  I did have a couple bites of Cara's fish - only because I wanted tartar sauce.  The girl sitting next to me couldn't take her eyes off my tray. I think she was jealous of my carb fest. I only ate a few bites of each and brought the rest home!

80/365

KEEP ON TRUCKIN'
I've put so much money into the Xterra lately. I thought it died last week... it kept making a horrid sound when I turned to the left and there was this ticking or something... I got the call (not expecting good news) but another $612.19 later it actually rose from the dead. It just keeps chugging along.

While we're on the truck subject... Lily was having fun with my new $3.00 find. I'm horribly obsessed with toy trucks. I may need an intervention. Just saying. Anyway, Lily was quite obsessed with this one herself. She kept swatting at it and pushing it all around.

79/365

NO MATTER HOW LONG THE WINTER - SPRING IS SURE TO FOLLOW

I rang in spring with lunch at Hoffstot's... I walked in and the hostess asked if I was there to meet my sisters - I said yes - I am and had a lovely couple hours with some of my sister-in-laws. Then it was off to Glo-Worm's to pack up more stuff... I'm lucky she doesn't have a bigger place - still not done! It's not very spring like yet but I guess it will be here soon... I'm looking forward to playing in the dirt.

78/365

525,600 MINUTES
A year ago today I sat in the Giant Eagle parking lot making my grocery list and got a call from the radiologist... I always seem to park in the same parking spot.... I did a few days ago and took this picture.  This was the view when I heard that the biopsy came back positive.

I remember getting the call and going in the store kind of like what the heck? Wasn't the past few years enough? RoseBud collapsing on my lap a few days after that stupid hike... all the miscarriages... my husband walking out on us, Norfolk, Mum, my Mother, etc, etc.  I remember coming back and having to tell The Dad... I walked in and he had a big St Patrick's day hat on and shamrock glasses and I had to tell him the news. I made my apricot chicken.  It was a whirlwind year from then on... I had multiple other biopsies, genetic testing, 2 surgeries in May, oncotype testing, almost two months of week day radiation, I spent 4 1/2 months on Glo-worm's couch and was back and forth taking care of The Dad and The Bud. Oh, and I ended the year by dropping a giant restaurant sized pot of scalding hot water all over my belly. It wasn't exactly a walk in the park.  I think I did the best I could have done considering the circumstances, though. Thanks to all my friends and family that were with me the past year. ♥♥♥

77/365

A FINE MESS
I'm painting on my lap.  I have no room here.  It looks like an art supply store exploded all around me. I'm doing a bunch of classes at one time... trying to finish up Life Book which I fell miserably behind on. I'm kind of picking and choosing the lessons I want to do... Finishing up the last week of Tascha's watercolor class and I started Christy Tomlinson's She Art workshop and Tamara's Christmas Whimsy - I'm going to consider myself extremely early on that one instead of extremely late. How many days until Christmas? ;-)  I have all these works in progress on the desk, on the bookshelf, on the floor... all waiting for their next layer. I love making a mess but I'm feeling a little claustrophobic!

76/365

BACIAMI

Lily had a cute little outfit but I never had a chance to do her photo shoot... last year's pic here. Happy St. Patrick's Day!  Lily Go Bragh!

75/365

KEEP CALM AND WALK THE DOG

74/365

SOUL FOOD
It's really frustrating talking to these doctors... I had to go on a new medicine and had some questions... I've been back and forth with the nurses and they pretty much don't know anything.  One told me to take something that is clearly contraindicated with something else I'm taking.

They know absolutely nothing about nutrition and food choices... I know I know too much and that sometimes gets in the way but it's almost sad how stupid these nurses are that I'm dealing with.  I know not all of them are the same.

Anyway, thought this was funny... I was in the parking lot and this truck passed by... Did I ever talk about getting a phone call way back when from both Edible Arrangements and Hepatica to check on an address???  No?  I will.

73/365

"DID SHE JUST CALL YOU A BITCH?"
Yep, Glo... and they'll probably be a "fucking bitch" in a minute or so. ;-) Glo-worm should be used to Chrissy by now.... she still gets a kick out of her trucker mouth. Chrissy offered to take us to Glo's pre-op appointment since my car is in the shop.  We made some returns and went to lunch.  All Glo does is tell everyone how much she hates it there so she's always looking for the opportunity to get out.  9 times out of 10 she doesn't remember she even has an appointment.  We went to pick her up and she completely forgot about it. Nonetheless, she's always joking to the girls that work there that she's not coming back and they make a big fuss that they will miss her. Usually after a few hours out she asks to go back.

She never seems to know what she is eating - even while eating it.  She saves all the tickets that come with her meals for me... for some reason she thinks I have to ok them all.  When we go out she just gets the last thing we mentioned...

Do you want meatloaf? I'll have the meatloaf...
You can have hot turkey?  I'll have hot turkey...
Do you want breakfast? Yes, I'll have breakfast!

She somehow ended up with a club sandwich at Eat N Park because she saw the picture.  She enjoyed it so that was fine. Did I ever mention that SuperBurgers make me sad? I guess not sad enough to not eat them.  Just sad. ;-(

72/365

THERE'S A NEW POPE IN TOWN

He seems like a lovely little man, doesn't he?  I went to another healing mass tonight. Everyone was excited about the news of the new Pope. It was a pretty full house... I was slightly distracted - all I could think about was my wedding ring.  There's something about my actual physical hand on a pew that gets to me. Just the visual of it... not even a (my) wedding thing... more of a my hand next to Dave's in the pew thing. Like other times when we were in church. It's a strange thing.  I don't think I can explain it very well.

Anyway, at the end of the mass they announce what visions came to them prior to the mass... healing for Bob a factory worker, healing for someone in the funeral business, arthritis is being healed, etc... Some specific... some general. This was the first one of the masses we went to where they said breast cancer was being healed.

As always, at the end of the mass you can go to any of the priests you choose and get an individual blessing. Father Tom and Father Joe had spotters because they are known to make people go down.  All the school kids were in Father Tom's line.

Those kids were dropping like flies and so were the others. I went to the other Father Tom.  He asked me if I heard the special healing for breast cancer. I didn't go down (or almost pull the priest down with me like last time) but I did get the healing oil in my eye and everything was blurry for a few hours! ;-)

71/365

COUCH POTATO BUD
Poor Lily got scared by something last night... she didn't want to be in the bedroom for some reason. About five minutes after we went it she jumped up and did everything she could to push me out of there.  I took her out on the couch and she went sound asleep... I, on the other hand, was up the entire night. I love these little feet.

70/365

PUTTING THE FUN IN DYSFUNCTIONAL
I've honestly not been able to focus on much lately and have a hard time even listening to tv let alone watching it but I did finally catch up last night with the only shows I do watch. I finished this season of Enlightened and caught up with Girls... and have all but last night's Shameless left.

They got me thinking...  we'll get to the others later - let's start with Shameless. It may not be an ideal or typical situation - big sister taking care of her f-ed up drunk father and the rest of her far from perfect siblings but it does show something about family dynamics...

Good - bad - or ugly...  You don't give up on family.  It IS possible to spin plates - as many as you choose to and sometimes they fall down and sometimes they stay spinning and you do what you have to do.

You don't run away.

That doesn't mean you lose yourself or put yourself last... it means you care about something and someone other than yourself and that's ok.

You look out for each other and (dare I say) take care of each other.

You don't need any self help books or workshops or anything else to show you the way... it's a simple concept. It's all about balance. Isn't it?

(Nice job keeping them spinning, Fiona.)

69/365

PUPPY LOVE

Bud visited Glo today... everyone loved her. I brought all her papers and signed her in as a visitor awhile ago but I've been hesitant to bring her up... I really wanted to get a stroller so she didn't have to walk on the floor - I've been fearful that she would catch something.  That's a good enough excuse to get a dog stroller, right? ;-)

I didn't get too many pictures and most of what I did get are blurry because she was so excited!

I missed the best shot of her riding down the hall in a wheelchair with our new friend Debbie... I was too afraid she was going to fall off and get run over to get a photo.  It was like a celebrity was there. Everyone was so excited to see her. One guy got her a cup of water.  She only barked once (at him) but that was because he barked at her so she was just being polite. I was a little worried about that because she likes to talk.  She was a really good girl and made a lot of people happy. How could you not love the Lil Bud?

68/365

BREAKFAST CLUB
I have to stop these late night trips to King's. I think I slept about 5 minutes last night... if that.  My heart seemed to be out of rhythm and I just felt very strange.  Maybe it was the pot of coffee I had - though it usually has no effect on me... maybe it was my late night snack - the girl's get breakfast and I get mashed potatoes and soup.  I know.  Weird - but I know what I like. ;-)

67/365

MUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT
Here we go!  The lamb butter is out.  Let the collection begin!

66/365

FORGIVE ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED...
... and bought another unnecessary thing from Miller's.

I walked downstairs and there it was... right where the damn big wagon was.  It's the Devil's booth - I know it. I hate that booth for having such wonderful stuff in it. I saw the price and I couldn't pass it up.  I just couldn't! I know it's going to have to go directly to storage but I don't care. It's such a double edged sword for me... I see these things and desperately want to give them a good home yet I don't have a good home to give them too - just the idea of one. I would love to have this in a little meditation room.  I have a nice collection of religious items binned up to go with it... I got a few more pieces from Glo. How sad... my life in storage. ;-(

Anyway, in case you are wondering I paid $17 for it.  I found some on Ebay for $135 and up.  Now all I need is a big giant church votive stand... I have been looking for one of those for years.

65/365

OF DEATH AND ICE CREAM
I got to Glo's and she was fit to be tied... she said they dragged her out of the room this morning and she couldn't figure out why... Turns out Miss Emily died this morning at 7 am. Alone. Well, Glo was there (technically) but she still insists that she's been dead for a couple days so I guess it was like being alone.  I was running a little late because I had to clean my car off - thankfully one of the girls must have helped Glo get dressed for her appointment. I ran into the room to get her glasses and coat. Emily was still there. By the time we got back she was gone... all that was left were her belongings bagged up on the bed. I know... I'm the only one that would take a picture of this. Just thought it was a perfect example of here today - gone tomorrow.

After Glo's appointment we met Chrissy for lunch.  Glo has been talking about going to Dairy Queen when Katherine is working for months now... She has been kind of obsessed with it.  I mean she does have a big love of ice cream as we all know - it's just been a weekly thing asking when Katherine is working.  It just so happened she was working today and Glo would be out because of her appointment so we figured we would get it off her bucket list.

It must have been on her mind because she kept telling the eye doctor that the ice cream looked really good but it bothered her eyes and it would probably be all melted by the time we got back in the car.  She was talking about the snow - still don't know if she was being cute with the ice cream analogy or if she really thought ice cream magically fell from the sky!

I think I finally caught up with back posts on this blog! Now if I can get back over to my photo challenges on IG I'll be good.  I'm going to try to go to bed. It's 8:30!  I think I'm hanging out with little old ladies too much! Goodnight, friends.

64/365

"AFTER ALL, WHAT'S A LIFE, ANYWAY?  WE'RE BORN WE LIVE A LITTLE WHILE, WE DIE..."
I walked in to visit Glo-worm today and a bunch of family members were in visiting her roommate.  I went and sat on Glo's bed and she said "Emily is dead." I told her I didn't think she was and she insisted that she smelled something and that was because she was dead. She didn't understand why they were all sitting there gawking at her - dead.  Glo is pretty strange - she gave the niece her chair and then bitched that she was still there sitting in it. She just wasn't getting why they were all there... I didn't want to shout out SHE'S ALIVE with all of her family there so I wrote a note.


I think she got it but I'm still not 100% sure.

We found out Emily never had any children... she was never married.  They were her nieces and nephew. Two things popped in my head... this could be me one day in 20-30-40 years. If I make it that long. Alone. I don't have any siblings... all my nieces and nephews were through marriage. The second thing that went through my head was the urban legend that when your college roommate dies you get a 4.0 for that semester. I know, my head is full of really weird thoughts.

I don't know if you'll be there tomorrow so peace be with you, Emily.  You are/were a nice little old lady.

63/365

SLEEPING BEAUTY
Lily likes to sleep... here's a video of her in bed just about ready to wake up... you need the volume up to here her snoring. I love when she stretches the doggy bones - a term we used to use with RoseBud a lot. I had a really bad night last night - we roamed from bed to the couch - I couldn't get comfortable.  Poor puppy just followed along with me.. she gave me some dirty looks but never left my side.  I've been putting a pillow behind her when I get up in the morning. Who wouldn't want to stay in bed all swaddled up like that?

62/365

NOT ALL WHO WANDER ARE LOST
It was a strange occurrence that brought us there but David, RoseBud and I got to live in a hotel in Norfolk for 30+days. While my Dad was on a ventilator we ventured out on daily adventures. That place was magical in a way... or maybe it was just the company. I still miss them all and our days there. Norfolk and the surrounding area will always be some of my favorite places.

Have you seen The Works Family and their little adventure? You can read about the start of their journey here and here's a link to the Worksology Instagram feed.

61/365

ONE MAN'S JUNK
We went to the home show today... there was a lot of swag - chip clips and yard sticks and Duquesne Light had cute little light bulb key chains. Breadworks was giving bread away and Savoy gave away a lovely tin of seasoning! It was the same old stuff on display, though...nothing that different.  It didn't seem like it was the largest show... I don't know.  It was somewhat depressing. The yard stuff and the mini houses and the kitchen stuff just remind me of Dixon House.

Anyway, only I would make a deal with the junk man there.  This guy had a booth displaying all the junk he could haul away for a fee... He had different pieces of "trash" laying around... Of course I had to ask how much he wanted for the beat up Tonka truck he had on the table.  He told me to make him a deal and in one minute it was mine.  I can't pass up a rusted old truck.

60/365

MEAN GIRLS - SENIOR EDITION
There's a lady at the nursing home that scares me a little... she's in a wheel chair and she usually holds one of two creepy baby dolls on her lap. She kind of chomps her lips all the time too.  Honestly, she looks a little mean. I talk to a lot of the residents there... kind of peek into a couple of the rooms and say hi to some of the ladies.  There's a couple guys that I always say hello to.  Anyway, this lady, no matter what I did, always seemed to have a smirk and never really responded to anything I would say. I've asked her her name but I don't think she ever heard me. I still don't know it. I went to the big room to get a new menu for the week and she was sitting there right by the door.  She yelled at me and asked if my shoes were wet for some unknown reason... I said no.  Then she pointed to a chair and said I could sit there. I told her I was in a hurry to get home and she asked why. We talked for a couple minutes and she said that maybe next time I could stay.

Ever since she's been really sweet. I think she just wants someone to talk to. I don't know what her story is. I've never seen anyone visit her.  I've tried to get Glo to talk to her but she's very much like a mean girl there.  She doesn't really want to talk to anyone or mingle with the residents. She only goes to the group activities when they snatch her up if she's out for a walk down the hall. Then she bitches about it and goes on about how stupid it is.  French Fry Friday has soggy french fries... The sing-a-longs are dumb and all the old people do is clap!  There's a guy there - known as the player of the floor.  He has an electric wheelchair and he's always scooting down the hall - he's pretty boisterous. He caught me in the hall the other night and said he asked Glo out on a date.  I'm still not sure where they were going to go! Every time he passes by her door she gets all grumpy and says she hates him and he's stupid.  It's like 5th grade all over!

This photo is from a few days ago.  I went to visit and she wasn't in her room... I found out she was in the big room so I stood by the door and watched for awhile. It was the Apricot Braid activity... they made the dough on the second floor in the morning and then they cooked it and ate it on the third floor later that day.  The woman was talking about cooking and other things... it seemed like fun.  I could hear the leader asking Glo what she likes to do - play cards, bingo, etc... she said NO to everything.