Tuesday, August 23, 2016

My mother died 22 years ago today. It's almost as many years as the age I was when she died. I was 23… We were discussing Lizzie's wedding and talking about how I went to get my wedding dress myself - I think Glo came once with me for a fitting - but I pretty much did everything by myself… and all the other things I did/do alone... That's what kind of made me mad when DCD acted like he did so much for and with me and pretty much made it out that I was incapable of living without him… It still doesn't make any sense and I, more and more, want to tell Pat off - still.  She is one of the top three key players in that chapter of my life and I shouldn't give her any of my energy but there are things I need to say so we'll get to her soon.  Anyway, I get more sad certain times… when I see family christmas card pics… when you see all the kids in their halloween costumes… back to school pics. It's hard to believe that I'll never make school lunches for my kids. I hate that. I still have visions of my kids doing homework around the kitchen island…and getting ready for bed and putting the book bags together… like I said, takes my breath away. I decided to make my own school lunch today. I'm not sure if it made me happy or more sad.


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