Saturday, May 7, 2016

Have I talked about this?
I have a bin in storage labeled DEAD BABY.  It's the third one down on the full stack of bins above the red lid. My eyes go to it every single time I open the door. I always see that pig blanket in there.  If I die and someone has to sell my stuff they might think it's a little alarming - especially when they have to walk past things like this to get to it.

Just to be clear, it doesn't really have dead babies in it - just some stuff like pregnancy tests and ultrasound pics and baby stuff we bought when I was pregnant- frames and outfits, etc.  I had miscarriages in 2006, 2008 and 2010.  The last one being the ever popular one where my then husband packed his bags and walked out in the morning and I miscarried, alone, at night.  We knew it was going to happen for about two weeks before that so when you think about compassionate gestures that's right up there with arguments over meatball buns for Mum's funeral.  So was the foolishness,  among other things, of not coming home and leaving me to take the dog out and watch Facebook conversations and word games being played at Primanti's while Jen and her friends were in town or being out at the casino with old TriLine peeps and not responding to my messages.   He did come back the day after because I thought I was going to bleed to death but there was little conversation and we stayed in separate rooms - unlike some weirdness that goes on with separated couples sleeping in the same bed. Whaaaat? CMA - you are never going to live that down.;-)  Anyway, I was the one that slept on the "hard bed" as my FIL used to call it and he left, again, the next morning.  Geez Louise. Seriously?  Did all this nonsense really happen?

Storage is also full of dead dog clothes (mostly RBs) which Lily will wear from time to time. One of the shirts is this one...

I think that was from the first pregnancy and just followed along from year to year waiting for the perfect photo op.

There are props in storage too…

…and I pay $4800 a year to house all this shit?!  I know. As Chrissy always says - Ridic.

I made it to the cemetery this year to put up flowers for mother's day before actual mother's day. Always a special time for me. I guess we can add dead mothers to my list of woes. Anyway, there's this one grave near my great grandfather in the really old section  that was never taken care of and my grandmother used to tend to it and then my mother and now me.  "The Tedesco Boy."

I walked around looking at all the pictures.

and the simple markers…

This was kind of a random find - not sure who this DeLuca is??

… and the baby behind it - I'm assuming stillborn - on Christmas day.

Probably not the best way to spend your time on mother's day eve. Kind of fitting, for me, I guess. Mother's Day shouldn't really make me mad. It does, though.

No comments: