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WHAT IF?

It is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) this week. There is something going on in the infertility community called Bloggers Unite: Project IF. It was the idea of Melissa Ford, blogger of Stirrup Queens, an infertility and pregnancy loss blog along with RESOLVE. The concept is to write about your biggest "what if" in regards to infertility. In her words, "take out one of the "what ifs" that keep knocking around inside your heart, keeping you awake at night, and allow the larger community to commiserate, empathize and help you carry your burden by reading your words."

Here are a few of the posts from OTHER people...

"what if I regret buying the larger car because the empty seats remind me of the child we might not have?"

"what if the reason I'm infertile is because I wasn't meant to be a mother?"

"what if I can never just be happy with what I have and stop being angry, bitter, and sad about what I do not?"

"what if people would never utter the phrase "God must not mean for you to have children" ever again?"

"what if I am forever bitter about women who get pregnant "naturally" and then treat their kids like shit?"

"what if it never became 'we' in our infertility struggle, would there still be us?"

"what if infertility stole our Happily Ever After?"

And here is MINE:
"what if I didn't miscarry the three times I did? I would be sitting here 13 weeks pregnant with a 9 month old and a 3 year old. How would I/We be different?"

I haven't really talked much about this except to those in the IF community. For those of you that don't know, IF is online speak for infertility. There are many "what IFs" listed on this project and I'm sure many more unsaid and unheard. Visit the links on Project IF - Part Two to read more...These bloggers are way more profound than I can be at this time. I really don't have the energy to elaborate much on this right now - maybe someday I will... Just NOT today!

I guess it if I learned anything from this it's that at some point you have to stop focusing on what could have been and redirect to what could be... that's the reason for putting my "what IF" statement out there today.

Check out these links for more information:
Project IF ("what IF" statements)

Project IF - Part Two (blog posts)

RESOLVE (The National Infertility Association)