Thursday, June 11, 2015

A little bit ago we discovered something. Everything in boxes that was on the floor was soaked in storage.  Chrissy actually noticed it in her unit and then we checked out mine and it was the same thing.  Not sure if it just came up from he floor or what. It doesn't seem like it came in through the door. The stuff in bins is ok - just the stuff in boxes.  A lot of my stuff didn't make it.

We got sloppy for awhile and just started pushing things in.  DCD brought other stuff over without me really knowing or going through it and it just got pushed deeper and deeper. If it was paper - it was gone. Soaked all the way through. Books, papers, mostly everything from the third floor was just sopping wet. It makes me sick. Some of the stuff shouldn't have been kept - like old travel brochures, etc… I was going to get to throwing them away but, like I said,  things just got tossed in the back and blocked with other stuff.   There was no way to salvage anything. I kind of just went through the boxes as best I could to make sure there wasn't something I really, really needed. It was very depressing and another kick in the face, really.  A big part of my life - just destroyed.  Again.

It was kind of good that my decision was made, I guess. I got rid of a good amount of stuff.  I know that, in the end, none of it is really that precious. It was mine, though, and some things are hard to let go of.  I kept thinking that maybe if I hated my past life and hated my ex husband it would be easier to get rid of everything.  I liked my life and my things and my memories... This, as stupid as some things were that I kept, was another loss.

Maybe it was for the best - "stuff" I probably really didn't need. Some things though, I was sad about.  All my manuscripts and work for my party stuff was destroyed. Some drawings and stuff from the 15 minutes I taught preschool… I'll get over it but still. I was just throwing whole boxes away.

Magazine clippings (from the pre-Pinterest days) and wish boards… which I'm happy/sad to say that most of this one I have/had!

All my Carlson craft stuff and old wishing star and puppy dog productions invoices and business stuff… Old school books and folders and hundreds of dollars in old Nittany Notes!!! ;-)

I was joking (a little bit) as I kept saying "I'M THROWING AWAY MY LIFE" as I discarded 25 year old Psych notebooks and folders… Chrissy kept telling me to shut up and fill the garbage bag.  She was getting all Dr. Phil on me and telling me it was not my life… I still have the memories of walking to speech class with Denise when the squirrel fell out of the tree and getting Chinese food with Steve and going to Uni-Mart even if I throw those folders away - yeah, duh!  You all know how I am, though, so I assume you know how difficult it was.  The only thing she let me keep, for now, was a small box of letters which I had always had at the house and brought to storage a few months ago b/c I needed room.  They actually didn't get wet because they were on top of other boxes. I'm surprised she let me keep them. Even though we were cracking up over certain things in between me bitching and crying, I think she knew I was one water logged box away from a breakdown. That was the only bone she could throw me.

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