I went to my therapist's today and he was a little shocked... he was very proud but said he was surprised I made the decision I did to not bring the Glo-worm home on Christmas Eve. It's still not a decision that I like but I had no other choice. For me and, I think, her it was the only way to go. I stopped at her house after my appointment and was kind of just frozen there. I just sat and looked around. I took some pictures like those I took after RoseBud died - of how things were from her perspective. I sat at her chair in the bedroom and at the couch... You know this Santa in front of her tv started it all LAST year!
Her remote was out and she must have stared at it long enough to imagine him talking to her. It more than likely happened again this time. I'm hoping my Mother really was there that last night and came to her and said enough was enough and it was time for me to go home. Not that I really have a home to go to. I know what it's like to be kicked out as well. I went to visit Glo last night and one of the first things she said to me was - is this going to be my home now? ;-(
I have a crazy connection to the things I love... at least that's what people tell me. I don't think it's that crazy! I have kissed the walls of Dixon House and thanked them every time I would go there in case I never saw them again. Parts of my life and my things are still there and I miss them. I was upset and sad that Glo may never see her place again after being plucked out of there by the EMTs. I think about that with Mum too and me. Chrissy bitched slapped me and said that Glo and most people don't care about their houses like I do. I'm not so sure of that, though.
I'll add another favorite post of mine here... seems relevant right now. It's from September of last year... MY LIFE.
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