I had to go for an MRI today. I forgot how much of a maze it was to get to it. There are signs all along the way... three or four of them telling you it's just around the bend. If it was your first time you would totally think you passed it up or went the wrong way.
Somehow I was early. Like really early - 30 minutes or so! I was sitting there looking around and realized I was the only one there alone. No biggie really - to me. I mean I'm used to going to appointments by myself. I guess.
It was funny, though... yesterday, my therapist asked me who was going with me to the MRI today. I looked at him and laughed and said I was going myself. Duh!?! We laughed about that for awhile. He's been saying that I've essentially gone through all of this (cancer stuff) myself. I'm not totally in agreement with that. I feel like I had a big support system... Chrissy and Cara... my cousins and Aunt Joyce and Carey and Sharon... some school friends and my sister-in-laws - Paula, June, Sue and Tina - were always cheering me on through treatment and stuff...
I'll be honest, it is and has been a constant reminder that my husband is gone. I mean the whole sickness and in health - till death do us part thing comes into play when I'm in those waiting rooms. You want your husband there for something like this... the one that would have been there to support you the most. I'm not going to say that this has been easy. I had a bit of a meltdown today...maybe it was because of the thoughts going through my head about all that or maybe it was because I was sick of being a human pin cushion. With the fertility stuff I have had a lot of blood work taken and they never had a problem... Now - they can't do anything from my left side so they don't have much to work with. They tried (pretty much continually) for 20 minutes to get my IV in and couldn't. I was nice about it but I had to stop them... four people tried - some multiple times each and I just couldn't take it anymore. They were all acting like it was a game - hovering over me to take their turn again... I'm not sure what the winner was going to get but I was done with it. I told them all to stop and they ended up calling the IV team in. An overzealous nurse ended up getting it in right as they were walking in but he had to put it in my wrist - which hurt... a lot. I'm really starting to question if this is all worth it.
I'll be honest, it is and has been a constant reminder that my husband is gone. I mean the whole sickness and in health - till death do us part thing comes into play when I'm in those waiting rooms. You want your husband there for something like this... the one that would have been there to support you the most. I'm not going to say that this has been easy. I had a bit of a meltdown today...maybe it was because of the thoughts going through my head about all that or maybe it was because I was sick of being a human pin cushion. With the fertility stuff I have had a lot of blood work taken and they never had a problem... Now - they can't do anything from my left side so they don't have much to work with. They tried (pretty much continually) for 20 minutes to get my IV in and couldn't. I was nice about it but I had to stop them... four people tried - some multiple times each and I just couldn't take it anymore. They were all acting like it was a game - hovering over me to take their turn again... I'm not sure what the winner was going to get but I was done with it. I told them all to stop and they ended up calling the IV team in. An overzealous nurse ended up getting it in right as they were walking in but he had to put it in my wrist - which hurt... a lot. I'm really starting to question if this is all worth it.
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