Thursday, November 12, 2015

It seems like everyone is coming out of the woodwork now with their fertility issues. I had three miscarriages in four years (2006, 2008 and 2010)  with the last one being the day my husband walked out on us. We knew it was going to happen- just didn't know when. I remember when we first found out there was no heartbeat the last time - I remember the look on his face.   I guess it was relief, but at the time I thought it was sadness.  I'm sure it was difficult for him. I know it was, even though we never really talked about the last one in great depth. There was a lot of blame and even more avoidance. He spent that whole week prior to it happening not coming home, avoiding my phone calls, etc.  I remember everyone sending emails and notes and I collected them all and put them in one document. I remember him asking why no one was sending him anything. That still bothers me to this day.  You know how you're not supposed to introduce your kids to a new boyfriend/girlfriend until you are together a year and how you're not supposed to make any permanent moves or decisions after a big life crisis event…  I guess that doesn't apply to me.

Anyway, did you hear about this vlogger couple.  Why is this not believable?  I don't know about you, but I don't believe them.  It seems like everyone is coming out with their fertility stories. Zuckerberg came out about their three miscarriages… The girl with the singer guy - wait, I have to google it - I can't remember their names… John Legend and Chrissy Teigen recently talked about their fertility issues… Tyra Banks.. Beyonce has a "miscarriage" song… Courtney Cox has always been vocal and so on and so on.

Anyway, all that back story for this.

I was at the oncologist today for my injection. It was early morning. I just got there. I always valet at Magee so I jumped out of the car and ran upstairs.

I didn't have to see the doctor today. I just go back to the chemo rooms and see the onc nurse.  I still had to sit there for almost an hour until they called me back. I put this lidocaine cream on but usually by the time they take me back it's already worn off. I take it like a champ even though I just want to cry after it. It's a big needle. I haven't been going back to work lately because I get a little freaked out by it.  I sat there and watched all the people come in. Some with wigs and hair wraps on - obviously there for chemo… some looking really good - some looking really bad. I see their person with them trying to be supportive but there's always just a look of uncertainty on everyone's face, it seems.  It's kind of sad.

Anyway, I was done and was waiting for my car. You mostly see young pregnant girls being dropped off for appointments and, I have to be honest, it makes me a little mad. I finally got my car and pulled around to turn to get out and I saw this sign hanging on the building.

Not everyone is there to have a baby, Magee.  

Where's the Great Day for a Chemo Injection banner?

Or It's a Great Day for a new knee!

No comments: