Chrissy and Cara went out shopping while I was at work today. When I was finished I met them at Target and we went to dinner. I wasn't scheduled for this weekend at all but ended up covering someone else both days. I've been scrambling trying to catch up with other things I need to do. I actually had a hard time staying awake on my way to Target and, truthfully, don't even know how I made it there. On my way to meet them I, without thinking, pulled right into UPMC EAST when I saw it... worse yet - I even parked! I kind of sat there like what the hell are you doing?!? I guess I thought I was going to my radiation appointment!?! The first couple days of work I would just burst into tears in the car on the way out of there... The other day I picked up the phone because I wanted to tell David something that happened... I've just been completely out of it. It seems like the Glo-worm may be a little jealous that I'm playing with other residents there. She doesn't seem to be getting what's going on and I think she thinks I'm living there now. She's very confused. There is a lady that screams out for her husband all the time and asks everyone where he is - he's been gone for some time. She thinks he's coming for her and yells out that she's in the big room with the clock. It's very sad. I keep wondering if that's going to be me in twenty-thirty years... remembering my past - screaming out for David to meet me at the clock at the entrance of the Magic Kingdom? It's hard to not have that run through your mind. This job isn't all fun and games... well, I guess it is mostly fun and games. There's also sorrow and despair and loneliness. For now though, there's cake with the girls.
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