I've been bursting into tears at the weirdest things... I decided to put everything aside last night and cuddled up on the couch to watch some old Junk Gypsy shows I recorded and two minutes into the first one - when she said "I love your moldings" I lost it. I literally sobbed for the rest of the show. I think the title of it was Happy Living Room too. Ironic.
I know that part of it - a lot of it - has to do with all my shit in storage and all over the place. Everything I love is boxed or binned and I have no idea what is where... I opened this bin and found my whole life in pictures thrown inside...
Things are starting to collapse...
The Dad makes fun of me to anyone that will listen... he goes on and on like he's doing a stand up routine for HBO about how he has to walk sideways in the house because there's not a wide enough space to walk straight through. I hear things fall and him swearing every morning when he knocks something over in the garage. He keeps saying he just wants to have his car in the garage by October. I honestly don't see that happening.
I'll admit - I'm definitely a hoarder... well - collector. I'm proud of the fact that I always surrounded myself with things that I love. Because of that, I'm having a really hard time with all of this chaos. I've been getting some advice - throw it all out... get rid of it. That's not as easy as you think. And why should I?
So what did I do the other night? I bought a Total Gym. You know - because I don't have any place to put it and we use the other exercise equipment down there all the time like The Dad's giant treadmill and my original Pilates machine that I can't even unfold! I can make a Total Gym fit down there - I swear I can! I was feeling really terrible and freaking out over everything in the game room and I somehow thought this would make things right.... I even made The Dad put QVC on and watch the whole spiel and he was all for it. I really thought by the time it arrived I would get the downstairs under control and all would be well in the world - or at least all would be well in the game room.
I ended up canceling it before it shipped. I got yelled at by my Friday night peeps and that night, when I confessed my sins about ordering it a couple hours prior to Chrissy, she yelled at me and said, "why didn't you buy a piece of fucking jewelry like most people do when they are depressed?"
I guess she's right. A Mariana bracelet does take up less space than a Total Gym.
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