Tuesday, October 23, 2012

292/365

"THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL - WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD..."

I've been dreading this day for awhile now...I met with my medical oncologist today.  I decided to go alone. She gave me a protocol I honestly wasn't expecting.

I absolutely love my doctor - she's adorable and smart and I trust her completely so I'm sure it's a good plan... the tricky part comes in with the fertility issue. They all know my "story."  The three miscarriages in four years... My husband packing his bags and walking out on us the morning of the third one... The cancer diagnosis... The Dad with kidney disease and now The Aunt with dementia, etc, etc... They know I've had a lot on my plate. We discussed every possible route I could go.  I don't have many options and with the ones I do have - my current situation messes all kinds of things up there.  So - what do you do?

I don't know what you would have done but I stopped at Original and got a hot dog!

I know - bad. ;-)

I told her I  needed some time to think.  Well, some more time. It's not like I haven't been thinking about this all along.

At the appointment, we talked about the two camps...

1. This is something you wanted for a long time so find any way possible to make it happen in the little time I have before I have to make a decision - which really was today.

2. Acknowledge that it's just not in the stars and put it to rest.

I think we all know what the easiest choice would be.

The only problem... it's also the hardest.

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