Thursday, August 18, 2011


The Dad is having a party. I told him I would meet him at Sam's. I was early so I sat in the parking lot for a little bit. I cried for twenty minutes. I finally regained my composure enough to go in... there was just a sick feeling the whole time I was in there. The Halloween stuff was out...

...that didn't even cheer me up.

There was this fabulous $149.00 collapsible wagon - I don't really know what I would do with it but it was nice - as far as collapsible wagons go.
...and I saw this really neat step ladder...
...which I just may have to go back for. You know - so I can just bring it to storage for the time being until I get a house. There's a cute tray on top to put your tools and paint on and the steps are wide. I like that. I was on a ladder in high heels the other day trying to get the kitchen border down. I do strange things like that. I like to live on the edge.

The clothes...the books... the giant package of mechanical pencils...nothing really made me happy. Well, the cash registers did for a second. I always wanted to buy a cash register.

I feel beat up today. I slept about three hours (even with two of my go to sleep pills) and was up early to get to an appointment. I haven't washed my hair in a week. I actually went out like that. I plopped on the couch in my psychologist's office with dirty hair - and could have cared less. Since the beginning of the week I've felt like I was in a fire and my husband is dead and my stuff is all displaced and scattered and gone. I've had it. If it wasn't for the Bud I don't think I would have come home.

The Bud and the cheese in the back of my car.
Which I just ate (at 11:40 pm) a little too much of.

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