Friday, May 11, 2012

132/365

BELIEVE
I was so happy about ham yesterday I didn't mention this... I went to another healing mass Wednesday night with Barbie, Gina and Joanna. We made a road trip to Cecil while looking at half naked pictures of David Gandy on Barbie's phone.  I tried to be as open as possible to the healing mass - so much so that, after communion, Gina and I went and found the bathroom because I didn't want to pee my pants if I fell at the altar!  The priest read some of the things that came to them pre-mass... there were some specific names called out again and some general concerns... back pain, infertility, broken families, safe travels for an upcoming bus trip - even two mentions from two different priests for healing of internet addiction!

After mass, we all got in line with whichever priest we wanted... Father Tom crossed over to our side of the church so Barbie thought that was a sign. People were falling to the floor left and right - I saw 4-5 at various priests while I was waiting.   Luckily, they had catchers at this mass... The couple that was sitting in front of us was ahead of me in line... She raised her hand when the priest mentioned infertility -  they went up together to talk to the priest which was cute and sad. I was kind of focused on them and next I knew it was my turn.  All I remember is I was in mid sentence and I felt myself going backwards. I never made it to the floor - my control freak instinct made me grab on to the priest's gown. We continued talking and he was praying and all I remember is standing there crying and him looking at me saying trust, trust, trust. I'm kind of upset with myself that I resisted - I wonder now if I would have actually gone to the floor - I'm telling you - that whole peeing my pants thing really got to me.

I really should be doing a hundred other things now before the surgery... cleaning, laundry, dog proofing a little... I think the porch needs a new roof!  I'm not real good at time management.  I tend to do everything that doesn't need done and then I'm scrambling at the last minute to do what I really need to do. I need to trust that everything is going to work out the way it needs to... I still need to brush up on my time management skills, though.  I think it will make me feel better. I'm going to do work on that - starting Monday.  ;-)

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