Friday, December 30, 2011


The other day I stopped at Sheetz to get gas and went to a "flex fuel" pump... I was reminded of the last trip to Florida when we had the rental car... I've been trying to delete things off my phone to see if it would work any better... I came across those text messages between me and Sue trying to figure out if we could put regular gas in the car... There were also texts from the same time between me and Dee about Mum...her asking me if she was going to make it home...the dreams we both had that night... the apricot and dulce de leche crepes she made and talk of mum's blueberry rolled pancakes with powdered sugar... 11 days away from the pup... just stuff.

I never had any sisters of my own. Not that Carey and my cousins, Debbie and Barbie, weren't sister-like growing up - as well as my sister-in-laws through all these years - married and before. The loss of mothers and puppies and babies and husbands and family has been catching up with me lately...

I saw these little girl shoes in Target the other night - they were just thrown on an almost empty Christmas shelf.
Everything went through my mind in the instant I saw them... every emotion that was possible... and it brought me right to that night - alone in the bathroom - when I was trying to summon up every female spirit - human and canine - that was ever in my life. There's a lot I have to say about that and some other things. I think I should just keep my mouth shut for now. I fear if I get started I'd be typing my way straight through 2012!

We had a lovely girls lunch at Sue's today. She is a spectacular hostess. Honestly, I debated on whether or not I should go. It wasn't that I didn't want to - just if I should be there. I'm glad I went. Thanks, Sue. ;-)

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