I often think about this photo of Mum. It's one of my favorites. Atia was handing out candy hearts to everyone and I had to take this picture. I think it says a lot.
The Amish and Shakers have a symbol: heart-in-hand - representing charity, giving with the hands and from the heart and implies a loving welcome. Which is always what she had for everyone.
I never thought there would be a day without her let alone all that has happened after that.
That we would be dealing with the death of a mother, the death of a baby, and the death of a marriage in just a short time... none of which were properly addressed by the two of us. I'm glad I spoke at her funeral and talked about how David always said he "married his mother." I hope along with some of her other qualities, good and bad, it was because of her dedication and love of family.
I've said this before that I feel like that was Mum's final message to us. When we were all brought together in that circle of love... that family is forever. I'm sad that we didn't try to honor that. A year ago, I wrote in my journal that she was the light in this family and the room got dim the night she died. I don't think it's been as bright ever since.
The day after she died we both wrote to her in RoseBud's journal - this was my entry.
Happy Birthday, Mum.
You probably really don't want to but, if you can, give The Bud a kiss for me. ;-)
I miss you.
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