Sunday, February 13, 2011



Is there an animal that stores up all it's sleep and sleeps at one time? If so, I'm that animal! I fell asleep last night watching HGTV so I did nap - then I got up and was up until around 2. I fell asleep again and the next thing I knew it was after 8 am so I slept for a long time! I don't really feel much better from it, though. In fact, I might actually feel worse. ;-( There's a wood pecker out there that woke me up. And I went to sleep to the hooting of an owl. Is that what it's called - hooting? I took Lily out late and the owl was talking... I've been on top of Lily when she goes potty because I'm afraid the owl is going to swoop down and take her away. Do owls even do that? I'm not sure.

I was thinking about that when I went to bed. I kept seeing shadows near my window and envisioned the imaginary big black dinosaur bird that my dad "saw" in North Carolina before he got life flighted to Norfolk. I kept waiting for it to crash through the window and take us away in it's claws. Then I fell asleep - I guess from exhaustion and/or fear!

I woke up this morning to the Bud in my arms - as usual... head under my chin twisted under the covers with me. She likes to put her paw on me - I think to trap me and make me feel guilty for getting out of bed. I haven't figured out what side of the bed I like so I'm just all over the place. Wherever I am, though, she's right there next to me.
Whenever I try to move or roll over she gets mad. She either goes to the end of the bed and sleepily circles around and comes back up and plops down next to me again or she just "stretches the doggy bones" and looks at me like stop it - you're being unreasonable getting out of bed this early. Either way she does it with a little annoyed growl - grunt and then sighs as she's getting comfy again.

The sighs get to me.

I was presented with a question awhile ago... and took it seriously. It asked about what I wanted in our relationship. I came up with all my responses... then I waited and waited and got nothing in return. The start of my response went like this - " You know when Lily gets comfy in bed and sighs before putting her head on the pillow? That's what I want... I don't want to guess or assume or wonder what's going on..." I'm still wondering. Like I said before I went from what I was led to believe was a renewal to being pushed aside more than I already was. I still don't get it.

That's not trying.

At all.

And it makes me mad.

"Forth reaching to the fruit, she pluck'd, she eat: Earth felt the wound, and Nature from her seat - sighing through all her works, gave signs of woe that all was lost..." ~ John Milton, Paradise Lost.

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