Do you have a comfy sweater? Your go-to wearable security blanket.... There's just something romantic and comforting and protective about a big old sweater. I laughed when I saw this.
And then I cried.
It wasn't because of the sweater... Every time I see old people I think about what they were like young and if what they are like now is what they wanted to become then. I don't know if that makes any sense. I thought about that yesterday when I watched that cashier take all that shit from those wacky coupon people - wondered if he thought "here I am - a checkout guy at 65+ scanning your discounted groceries - how the hell did that happen?" I always thought about that at the grocery store near my house... there was this older guy that would go collect the carts. I don't even know if he is still there or if he wonders why I haven't been around. He was a little slow. I always wondered what his story was. Never asked him, though. It was probably better that I didn't know. Sometimes he would help me put my groceries in the car and I would give him a couple dollars. A couple times he gave me a kiss. He always asked me if he could. I would wonder when the last time was that he kissed someone - his wife, mother, daughters, dog... but never really knew if he had any of those in his life. I still think about him. I wondered if he was happy doing what he was doing or just did it to do something.
I never would have said I was unhappy. Ever. Even with all the things I went through. I always felt I was where I wanted to be - never felt stuck or put out... never felt like I should be doing something different with my life. I may have lacked focus and was easily distracted but one thing was certain - I knew who I wanted to share my sweater with.
It was Earth Day today. It's been a year already. 365 days ago I wrote these words - and, BTW, I haven't done one thing to that canvas. In fact, I'm not even sure where it is - which box, which bin, which house? If you've never heard Marty's words click here... Do not let this universe regret you... Close your eyes and listen. Those words have stayed in my head always. From the moment I saw her on Def Poets - I think I looked it up and it was 2005 - her words stuck with me. Some days it's harder to hear them though. ;-(