Wednesday, March 2, 2011



Poor Rudy hasn't been feeling well... I'm not really a fish person (besides my never ending want for a sea horse and starfish) but Rudy is pretty neat - as far as fish go. I could watch him shake his little fish wings forever. I wanted to put his bowl in a pot and take him for a ride but we didn't... it's a little tough to play with a fish! He did eat a little so hopefully he'll be back to normal soon. I hope you feel better, my fish friend.

(side note: watching travel channel and Hash House A Go Go is on right now... I STILL think about my chicken and waffles.)

Anyway, I'm kind of feeling a little like a fish out of water with this whole job search thing. I just want everyone to calm down a bit with their excitement of me joining the work force. It's not going to make the world a better place when I find a job... there will still be starving children and abandoned animals that need homes... I'm not going to be fulfilled or turn into some different person if I work at an office or a bank or am a cashier at Target. The only thing it is going to get me is health insurance. It's just a funny, funny thing. I think there is one camp that thinks I am incredibly useless and at 40+ years old will now go on to learn to be this self sufficient, independent career girl... which you know - I'm so dependent on everyone and everyone has to do everything for me - so that will never happen... The other believes I can do anything because I'm just so proficient and knowledgeable in everything I do. That's somewhat true ;-) but what's being disregarded is I am here with absolutely no experience and an 18 year old useless degree that pretty much qualifies me to work with the one demographic that will surely give me a nervous breakdown. If you want to talk about post-traumatic stress disorder... put me in front of a bunch of little kids and let's all watch Jeannine have a meltdown... I'm about ready to go Perkins on someone so what the hell. I've already been strongly advised against it. I'm thinking for the benefit of all mankind that should go to the back of the list.

So, my options are open... you know awhile back (like about a year ago) I talked to Pat about what I should do with my third floor... I was trying to make it into a working studio and get moving on my art/jewelry career... I asked her if she thought it was a good idea at the time - given what was going on... for some reason, she told me it was... I started on that but didn't get far. I guess it turned out to not be a good idea. Anyway, one of the things I hung up Over 2 for inspiration was a canvas that said this:


I used to like that saying but not so much anymore... I just don't really care about the failing part. I already failed at being a mother and failed at my marriage (the only jobs I wanted) so not really caring much about anything else. I am still pondering the first part of the question though...

OK - rant over... This little fish is fried.

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